


But I'm A Cheerleader

by bbygirldahyun



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: Angst, Bullying, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Mild Language, cheerleader!nayeon, more relationships but dayeon is the focal point uwu, nerd!dahyun, the dayeon hs au we all need, this story is heavy pls be cautious
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-01
Updated: 2020-11-24
Packaged: 2021-01-15 23:47:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 10
Words: 30,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21261602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bbygirldahyun/pseuds/bbygirldahyun
Summary: Kim Dahyun is the biggest loser in school, and Im Nayeon is her biggest bully. They couldn't be from more different worlds; Nayeon is head cheerleader, chase after by every guy in school, and she's incredibly popular. Dahyun is a geek with an IQ higher than she'd care to admit, and she's just trying to get by without drawing too much attention to herself. They're both still trying to figure things out in life, but one thing they are both sure of is that they absolutely cannot stand one another. Or are they?





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> this is a repost from my aff account, and the original concept came from my tumblr (both also bbygirldahyun).

Things never seemed to be easy for Kim Dahyun. 

She’d tried her hardest not to stand out her freshman year, and she'd gotten by pretty much unnoticed. But as a sophomore, things were proving to be much more difficult. She’d been moved to almost entirely senior level courses, due to her scores on test the previous year. She was stuck in classes with kids two years older than her, who looked at her like she was a freak, and it was miserable. She prayed every night that God would just make her normal, for a lot of reasons. She was too smart, too shy, too quiet, not interested enough in the right things. She didn’t like makeup and pretty clothes and boys like all the other girls did. She liked video games and comic books and yeah, maybe she liked girls a little bit. That part she was unsure of. 

Chemistry was the worst part of Dahyun’s day. She was stuck in a class with Im Nayeon, resident mean girl, and her two minions Minatozaki Sana and Myoui Mina. They’re gorgeous and wicked and they seemed to have it out for Dahyun. She tried to keep quiet, not being bothersome, but the teacher didn’t make it easy. She’d be handing tests back and hold Dahyun’s up, displaying her perfect score every single time, making an example of it. Dahyun was always blushing so hard, and she could feel Nayeon’s eyes on her every single time. 

“Maybe try getting a life instead of studying so much.” The comment stung, especially considering Dahyun and Nayeon had lunch together and Nayeon saw she ate by herself everyday. Nayeon knew Dahyun had absolutely no friends, and she used that to her advantage. Dahyun had to bite down on the inside of her cheek to keep from crying right there in class. “God, what a loser.” Dahyun gritted her teeth, fidgeting in her seat, embarrassed. She hated when Nayeon started this when everyone else was already paying attention to her. 

Dahyun was counting down the last five minutes of the period when the teacher announced they’d be put into pairs for a project. Dahyun exhaled a sad sigh, burying her face in her arms. “Sana, you’ll be with Mina,” The teacher began, reaming off names, and Dahyun kept waiting to hear her own, her stomach clenched in nervousness. “And Dahyun, since your scores are the highest, you’ll be with Nayeon, considering hers are the lowest.” Dahyun managed to peek out from under her arms, seeing the mortified expression on Nayeon’s face. Whether that was in regards to them be partnered up or the teacher completely exposing the fact Nayeon was failing chemistry, Dahyun had no clue. All she knew was that she wanted the Earth to swallow her up whole right about now. She silently asked God why he was torturing her like this, miserably meeting Nayeon’s eyes, seeing the fiery anger in them. 

“Just my fucking luck,” Nayeon rolled her eyes, turning to her friends. “I get stuck with the little church girl.” 

“At least you’ll get a good grade,” Mina tried to console Nayeon, Dahyun practically forgotten though she was the topic of their conversation. They acted as if she wasn’t even there. 

The second the bell rang Dahyun was bolting out of class, running down the hallway, tears finding their way down her face finally. She ended up hiding out in the bathroom all of her lunch period, not wanting to face Nayeon as she had to sit alone, with no lunch to eat. It wasn’t that they didn’t have food in the house, it was that she was on a week of punishment. Her father had tested her on Bible verses and when she hadn’t been able to recite them perfectly, he decided no lunch for a week was a fit punishment. She was just thankful he had chosen that over beating her this time. 

As the bell rang signaling the end of her lunch period, Dahyun miserably shuffled out of the bathroom and down the hallway to her next class. As she walked she tried to keep her head low, but she could hear everyone snickering at her as she walked by. She kept her eyes fixated on her white Mary Janes, exhaling a tiny sigh. 

She heard familiar laughing, and then Nayeon’s voice hit her ears. “Missed you at lunch today,” Dahyun tensed, wanting to just keep walking and get past her, but suddenly Nayeon was blocking her path. Dahyun peered up at Nayeon, hating the two inches Nayeon had on her height wise. “It wasn’t as entertaining without you to watch.” The faux sweet smile on Nayeon’s face made Dahyun’s stomach turn. 

“Please, let me through.” She squeaked out in a tiny voice. She was going to be late for her next class, and she could feel the tears from before making their return. 

Nayeon scoffed, walking by her, making sure to slam her shoulder hard against Dahyun’s. It hit a fading bruise, courtesy of Dahyun’s father’s hand, and it sent a wave of pain through Dahyun. She couldn’t help whimpering in pain, eyes welling with tears. 

“Weak.” Nayeon laughed, and then she was sauntering away, leaving Dahyun bawling in the hallway, listening as the bell told her she was late for class, but she didn’t care. 

There was a lot Dahyun didn’t know, but there was one thing she was entirely sure of; she despised Im Nayeon with every fiber of her being.


	2. Chapter Two

Dahyun had never wanted to skip a class more than she wanted to skip Chemistry the day after being partnered with Nayeon for the project. But she forced herself to go, as she always did, bouncing her leg nervously in her chair as she waited for Nayeon to arrive. She fiddled with the sleeves on her oversized hoodie, trying to pull it so it was baggier on her. Despite it being sweltering outside, she was wearing a huge hoodie and baggy sweatpants; she’d rather be too hot than let anyone, especially Nayeon, see her body shape. 

Right as the late bell rang, Nayeon came striding into the classroom, trailed as always by Sana and Mina. It was Friday, meaning the three of them were wearing their cheer uniforms, and Dahyun swallowed hard as she looked Nayeon up and down. The skirt was short, way too short for school, hitting only at mid thigh. Her hair was in a sleek ponytail, adorned with one of the glittery bows the cheerleaders always wore, and she had deep red lipstick on her lips. Dahyun couldn’t stand how perfect Nayeon was, it wasn’t fair. She got to be gorgeous, and popular, and intoxicatingly pretty. Dahyun hated her for it, and Dahyun didn’t hate anybody. Nayeon had become an exception, one she hoped God could understand. 

“Everyone get in your pairs for your project,” The teacher instructed, and Dahyun curled away from Nayeon then, trying to focus on her open book on her desk. She heard Nayeon huffing, annoyed, and then her desk scraping on the floor as she tugged it next to Dahyun’s. The younger girl pulled at her hoodie again, wanting it to swallow her whole. She tensed, instinctually, waiting for Nayeon to speak. 

“Do you speak?” Nayeon scoffed, and Dahyun could already feel the tears welling in her eyes. She forced herself to blink them back, not wanting to be weak. She couldn’t stand hearing Nayeon say that to her, it kept her up the whole night afterwards. It wasn’t her fault she had bruises on her body that stung when they were hit again. It wasn’t her fault she was sensitive, and cried at everything. 

“Y-Yeah,” Dahyun choked out, still staring at her open book. She didn’t need to be so intensely studying the pages, she already had an entire plan for the whole project. She could do it by herself, she wished she was doing it by herself. “I’ll do it.” 

“Huh?” Nayeon cupped her ear, leaning closer. Dahyun inhaled sharply at their sudden proximity, the scent of Nayeon’s perfume overwhelming her. It smelled nice, and Dahyun hated that anything related to Im Nayeon could be nice. She coughed, trying to rid herself of the scent. 

“I can, uhm, do the project. By myself.” Dahyun mumbled, leg bouncing faster. She hated the feeling that overcame her, like she was so overwhelmed with just talking. Nobody else was like that, she’d learned that quickly. Nobody else struggled to get by even with just talking, or looking at people. Dahyun wished so desperately she could just be in her room, with her comic books, not having to talk to anyone. She hated group work at all, but especially this, stuck having to choke out stupid words and sound like an idiot to Nayeon, who would certainly laugh with her friends about everything Dahyun said later. 

“Whatever,” Nayeon agreed easily, as Dahyun knew she would. So they spent the period side by side, silent, Dahyun writing in her cramped print on a piece of notebook paper her plan for the presentation. She could see out of the corner of her eye Nayeon kept glancing at Mina and Sana, mouthing things to them she couldn’t quite catch. Everytime Mina or Sana caught Dahyun peeking at them, suddenly they were laughing, and then Dahyun’s face was burning as she turned back to her work, hiding her face in a curtain of her dark hair. 

About a third of the way through the period, Dahyun could feel the hunger settling in her stomach, the one that had been present the whole week. She was almost done with her week of no lunches, thankfully, but in a weird way she’d come to not mind not eating. She at least hoped it would help her lose some weight. Just as she started to draw a diagram out, her stomach growled loudly, making the lead on her pencil snap as she trembled. 

“Are you anorexic or something?” Nayeon asked, her first words since the beginning of the period. Dahyun could tell it was a jab, whether it be at the fact she hadn’t been eating lunch or that she was ashamed of her body and it was so painfully obvious, she couldn’t tell. 

“N-No,” She stammered, throat tight, trying to keep the words inside. 

“Can’t you learn how to talk at all?” Nayeon’s tone was icy, and Dahyun winced at it. She had been hoping this could be avoided, that doing Nayeon’s project would buy her some salvation. “Maybe if you learned how to talk like a normal person people wouldn’t hate you so much.” 

For once, the bell rang at a convenient time, and Dahyun bolted out of the classroom as quickly as she possibly could. Sniffling, trying to hold back tears, Dahyun goes to her locker, miserably resolving to go hide in the bathroom for lunch as she’d been doing the whole week. Just as she had shoved her stuff inside, she noticed a paper bag that hadn’t been there before. Wary of it, expecting a prank, she peeked inside. There was a sandwich, an apple, a bag of chips, and a cookie. Her first thought was that someone put laxatives or something equally as gross in it in an attempt to humiliate her, and she decided she would just throw it away. But the more she stood there, the more she desperately wanted something to eat. She hadn’t eaten since dinner the night before, and her stomach was aching, so she grabbed the bag and took it to the lunch room, sitting at her normal table alone in the corner. 

She figured the chips would be the safest bet to start with, it would be hard to get into the bag and reseal it without someone being able to tell. So she tentatively ate a chip, waiting five minutes, and when she wasn't instantly sick, she finished the bag. Then she ate the apple, tensing after the first bite, but that didn’t make her sick either. She had to keep reminding herself to eat slowly, and normally, not like she was as hungry as she felt. The sandwich was good, it was definitely made that morning, she could tell. And the cookie was the best part, certainly homemade, with lots of chocolate chips. Just as she finished her last bite of the cookie, she peeked up to see Nayeon was staring right at her, watching her eat. 

Suddenly she felt incredibly self conscious; she hated people watching her eat. It made her feel so weird, and like she shouldn’t be eating at all. But the weirdest part was that Nayeon’s stare wasn’t full of disgust, or malice, it was actually incredibly plain. Like she was just watching Dahyun. Dahyun pushed her hair behind her ear, making herself meet eyes with Nayeon, ignoring the discomfort at the eye contact burning in her chest. She wanted to know what Nayeon’s deal was. 

“Nayeon, why are you staring at her?” Sana asked, loud enough that Dahyun could hear across the cafeteria, and then Nayeon was quickly ripping her gaze away, turning back like it had never happened. 

When the bell rang, Dahyun tried to escape down the hallway to her locker as quickly as possible, hoping she could avoid running into Nayeon. But when she turned to leave to go to her next class, she ran right into Nayeon, pressing right up against her, drowning again in her sweet perfume. Stumbling back, Dahyun felt herself beginning to shake. “Watch where you’re going, dork,” Nayeon told her, and Dahyun stammered an apology immediately. “How was your lunch?” It was weird, those words held almost no bite to them. Dahyun figured she might just not be picking up on whatever the joke was, she was kind of bad at reading people’s tones sometimes. 

“Fine.” Dahyun whispered, clutching her books to her chest. 

“The food was good?” Nayeon pressed further, and it puzzled Dahyun. Why did she care? Was she setting Dahyun up for a joke about her weight, or something along those lines? That’s what it felt like. 

“It was fine,” Dahyun figured a neutral word was the best option. It was even more puzzling when Nayeon didn’t say anything after that, the silence stretching so long Dahyun forced herself to look up and meet Nayeon’s eyes. She hated that Nayeon could tower over her, but she didn’t look intimidating right then. Not as much, anyways. 

Finally, Nayeon said, “Go to class, loser,” and then she walked away, and that was it. Dahyun was stunned. She thought she must be dreaming, because Nayeon never walked away without making her feel incredibly stupid, but here she was. She couldn’t understand it, but she wasn’t sure she wanted to.


	3. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just be warned there's mentions of abuse & vomit in this chapter hhh

Dahyun had barely been able to drag herself out of bed, and she still felt half asleep as she trudged into Chemistry. She and Nayeon had been working on their project together for just over a week, and it was miserable, more so than Dahyun had thought it could be. She had hoped that by offering to do the whole thing, Nayeon might just ignore her, but it had only opened up more opportunity for Nayeon to think of insults. She truly was not in the mood, her whole body aching, eyes sore from crying. The night previous had been a bad one, a lot of yelling, things thrown. She’d rather not even be awake for awhile, certainly not wanting to deal with Nayeon and her petty comments. 

“You look like shit,” Was the first thing Nayeon said to her when they were told to get in their pairs. 

“Thanks, I know,” Dahyun mumbled back, taking out her notes for the project. It was all perfectly organized, detailed, and mapped out. Dahyun liked patterns, liked data, things that were tangible and based in fact. Emotions, friendships, other people, it was too complex. There was no formula to plug people into to make them like her, she’d learned that the hard way too many times. 

“If you wore makeup, or like got contacts or something,” Nayeon started, and Dahyun clenched her fist hard, the shaking starting again. She hated how easy it was to make her tremble. 

“Contacts are uncomfortable,” Dahyun said under her breath, fiddling with her pen, not writing anything. She’d tried contacts when she was thirteen, and had gotten them in fine, but hadn’t been able to get them back out. It had turned into hysteria, her bawling to the optometrist, who was trying to be sweet and comforting, her parents annoyed with her at her hysterics. It had earned her some cracks on the knuckles with a ruler, and no dinner. She had never asked about contacts ever again. 

“Right, whatever,” Nayeon rolled her eyes. Silence fell for a second, and Dahyun took the opportunity to start sketching a new diagram, the latest in her collection for the project. She was thankful Nayeon wasn’t involved in this, because it made her feel good to work on it. She felt worth something when she was solving things, when she could be the one to do it right the first time. She couldn’t wait for academic competitions to start up again, because that was the only place she’d ever felt like be belonged even a little bit. “Why do you always wear that ugly hoodie?” 

“Why do you care?” Dahyun choked out, tears pricking in her eyes. All she felt now was pathetic, diagram forgotten, stomach churning. 

“Because I have to look at it, and it’s gross,” Nayeon had no way of knowing that Dahyun was hiding herself, or maybe she did and she just really was cruel enough not to care. “And if you won’t get contacts at least get glasses that don’t have to be held together by tape.” 

Bile rose in Dahyun’s throat, thinking back on last year, when Nayeon had ripped her glasses off and snapped them in half. She was too scared to tell her parents what happened, so she just taped them back together and wore them like that. They were crooked, and her vision was a little funny, but it was better than being blind. It served as a constant reminder of why she hated Nayeon, of what the older girl had done to her. It reminded Dahyun that no matter what she did people would only want to hurt her. 

“They wouldn’t have to be taped if you hadn’t messed them up,” Maybe she was just tired, and therefore irritable, but something gave her the courage to spit something back, rather than silently accept the cruelty. All of her courage flooded away when Nayeon slammed her fist down on Dahyun’s desk, laughing when she jumped. The older girl was speaking, but the words fell on deaf ears, as Dahyun felt tears streaming down her cheeks, stomach jolting, vomit rising in her throat quickly. 

“Don’t say shit if you don’t want a response,” Nayeon was telling her in a cold voice, and Dahyun couldn’t say anything, not when she knew she had only a few moments before she was going to puke all over the desk or the floor. She stood up and made to leave, trying to be quick, but Nayeon had a hand on her arm, squeezing, getting some of her new bruises, making Dahyun flinch hard. “Where are you going, we-” 

Dahyun shoved Nayeon off her, not wanting to get sick in front of the older girl, barely making it into the hallway before she was heaving, kneeled on the floor vomiting for what felt like an eternity. Anxiety had always made her nauseous, but she’d never actually thrown up from it before; this was a new development she knew what only make her life worse. 

“Hey, loser, you-” Nayeon swung outside the classroom door, cutting herself off when she saw what was happening. “Oh god, okay, um,” She sounded panicked, Dahyun could hear it even through the sounds of her choking on her own breaths and sobbing. “Let me get some help.” She ran back into the classroom, calling loud enough Dahyun was sure everyone in the hallway could hear, “Dahyun’s sick!” 

The teacher came out of the room then, kneeling beside Dahyun, trying to get her to calm down enough to say what happened. When that didn’t work, she stood, exasperated sigh leaving her lips as she turned to the doorway and said, “Nayeon take her to the nurse’s office will you? I can’t leave the class unattended.” 

Dahyun felt like she could throw up again at those words, especially when Nayeon put a hand on her arm, trying to pull her up. “Breathe,” Nayeon told her firmly, tugging her up and slinging an arm over her shoulder. “You’re fine.” Dahyun wanted to protest, wanted to tell her that she is in no way fine, because going to the nurse’s office was her worst nightmare. If they saw the bruises on her, they’d ask questions, and those questions would lead to things Dahyun did not even want to fathom for a second. 

“P-Please don’t take me,” Dahyun stammered, feeling herself being pulled down the hallway, seeing a janitor coming past them the opposite way, going to clean up her mess. “I-I can’t, I-” 

“You just threw up, you have to see the nurse,” Nayeon said breezily, making Dahyun wince. How could she be so unaffected? How could she not realize that every step closer to the nurse’s office was making Dahyun more distraught? 

“No!” She gagged suddenly, coughing hard, shaking her head. “D-Don’t do this to me please, please Nayeon I can’t, I know you hate me and I’m stupid but you can’t do this to me, pl-” 

“Okay, okay,” Nayeon stopped, grabbing Dahyun’s hands and squeezing hard. Somewhere in the back of Dahyun’s mind she realized Nayeon knew nothing about being gentle. “Try and calm down, Dahyun.” It was the first time Nayeon had called her anything other than an insult to her face. “Where do you want me to take you?” 

“I...don’t know,” Dahyun said defeatedly, feeling entirely miserable and worn out and just beyond exhausted. All she wanted was to sleep, but even in sleep she could not truly rest, because the nightmares made her feel like she was always running from something. “I have nowhere to go.” 

Nayeon worried her bottom lip between her teeth for a second, sighing, and then, “If we’re careful, I can sneak you out and get you home. Okay?” 

“What kind of trick are you playing on me?” Dahyun was defensive instantly, giving Nayeon a puzzled look. 

“It’s not a trick,” Nayeon said, voice quieter than normal. Her expression was solemn, one Dahyun had never seen, and she found she didn’t mind Nayeon as much when she was quiet. “So just shut up and let me help you,” Dahyun wasn’t positive, but she thought that might be a joke, and when Nayeon laughed a little she knew her assumption was correct, and she laughed a little too. 

“How do you plan on sneaking me out?” Dahyun was curious, because she’d never skipped school before. 

“We’ll go out through the courtyard, climb over the fence, and then make a run for my car. I’ll drive you home,” Nayeon explained, walking again, Dahyun hurrying to catch up. “I do this all the time.” 

“I’ve noticed,” Dahyun said breathlessly as they stepped outside into the courtyard through the double doors, both trying to move soundlessly. They slipped easily past the picnic tables and the well groomed trees, and Nayeon hurried pulled herself up by the fence rungs and jumped over the side, only stumbling a bit. 

“Come on,” She waved Dahyun over, and the younger girl swallowed hard, trying to steady herself. Every pull made something on her ache, but she forced herself through it, coming to the top and jumping down as Nayeon had. Except she did not land on her feet, she slammed down hard on the grass, gasping in pain, clothes riding up a little without her realizing. “What the fuck Dahyun?” Nayeon breathed out, eyes wide, and Dahyun gave her a funny look, until she realized a bunch of her bruises were on display. 

“N-Nothing,” She stammered, forcing herself to stand quickly. “Just bruise easily.” 

Nayeon said nothing, only waving Dahyun to follow her, leading them to an expensive looking car. She clambered into the passenger seat, overwhelmed by the scent of Nayeon’s perfume, as the older girl herself put the car in drive and pulled away abruptly. 

“Try not to puke in my car,” Nayeon said absentmindedly, listening to Dahyun’s hushed directions to her house. It was a mostly silent drive, until they pulled up in Dahyun’s driveway, and then Nayeon asked, “Are you going to be okay?”

“I’m always fine,” Dahyun said instantly, eyes on her lap. “Thanks.” 

“Yeah, uh,” Nayeon sounded so different, no longer domineering, commanding, icy toned. She sounded soft. “Be safe, okay?” Dahyun looked up suddenly, eyes meeting Nayeon’s, heart slamming against her sternum, instinct telling her not to trust this niceness. But then Nayeon was taking her hand, eyes sad, voice even sadder as she whispered, “I’m really sorry, Dahyun.”

Dahyun didn’t want to ask for what, she didn’t need to. It was enough, to make her less tense, to make her nod and mumble back a, “Thank you.” And then she left the car, walking up to the house slowly, aware Nayeon was sitting and waiting for her to be inside before pulling away. The look on Nayeon’s face haunted Dahyun for the rest of the night, as she kicked her shoes off at the door and stepped further inside, managing a smile as Ari came to jump up on her and then trail her upstairs to her room. As she locked her door and tried to bury her thoughts in comic books, wanting to enjoy the new copy of No Road Home #1, but instead her thoughts were only filled with how today had been turned inside out, how Nayeon had been kind to her.


	4. Chapter Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this took so long :( i hope it was worth the wait

It was a Friday when they were given a due date for their Chemistry projects; the following Monday. Dahyun began to panic instantly, fretting over how she’ll manage to get to the store to get supplies to make the presentation on short notice without upsetting her parents. It was evident she was freaking out, leg bouncing like crazy, hands trembling at her sides. At the end of class, Nayeon grabbed her by the arm to hold her back, making her shudder a little. “What’s got you so wigged out?” 

“J-Just the p-project,” Dahyun replied, tensing for the reply. In the days following when Nayeon had drove her home, the older girl had actually been tolerable to be around. She no longer threw insults at Dahyun at every turn, instead opting to simply ignore her most of the time. But still, Dahyun was waiting for the switch to flip and Nayeon to hate her again. 

“I know, it’s bullshit she gave us the due date so close,” Nayeon agreed, rolling her eyes. “Listen, I know I haven’t been much help, but if you want to come over after school today we can get some supplies and do the poster board.” 

“Really?” Dahyun couldn’t believe her ears, but when she saw Nayeon nod she knew it was genuine. “Thank you so much.” 

“Don’t mention it,” Nayeon sighed, finally standing so they can leave class. Oddly, they ended up walking side by side to their next classes for awhile. “Meet me in the parking lot after school, ‘kay?” 

“Yeah, see you then,” Dahyun said shakily, trying to get herself focused and ready for her next class after Nayeon had walked away. That proved to be insanely difficult, and she ended up totally distracted the entire rest of the day, almost in a trance, waiting for the moment she could hurry out to the parking lot in search of her once bully now turned...something. She would probably describe them as a reluctant and begrudging pair of acquaintances.

“Over here!” Nayeon called out for her when she was peering around the parking lot. Dahyun stumbled over herself to make it to Nayeon’s side quickly, trailing her through the rows of cars until they reached Nayeon’s. Once they were inside and in the line of cars waiting to get out of the school lot, Nayeon said, “We can stop at the store before my house, get the stuff.” 

“Okay,” Dahyun agreed, fidgeting anxiously in her seat. Being around Nayeon had always made her so uncomfortable, she just couldn’t shake it no matter how decent the older girl was. 

“Are you feeling better?” Nayeon asked nonchalantly, turning onto the main road and heading towards the store. 

“Yeah, a lot better,” Dahyun nodded. She wanted to place her backpack on the floor of the car, but a part of her hesitated, wanting to keep it in her lap as a shield. 

“How are the bruises?” Nayeon was so blunt all the time, it stunned Dahyun sometimes.

“Fine,” Dahyun muttered, shifting away subconsciously. 

“You must bruise like a peach, do you fall a lot or something?” Nayeon was, thankfully for Dahyun, entirely oblivious. 

“Yeah, I’m just clumsy,” Dahyun lied easily; she’d been doing it all her life. They turned into the store parking lot and quickly exited the car, Dahyun running to catch up with Nayeon as she strode off confidently. They picked their supplies easily, and went to the self checkout lane. “I can pay you back for half of it when I get some cash,” Dahyun offered, but Nayeon scoffed a little.

“It’s fine, I got it,” She said. “I don’t like making people pay me back.” 

“Oh,” Dahyun processed that for a moment. “Well thank you.” 

“No problem,” Nayeon tried to flash her a smile, but she didn’t get one in return. Once they were back in the car on their way to Nayeon’s, she remarked, “You know if I was you, I would totally have made me pay.” 

“Why would I do that?” Dahyun asked in confusion. 

“Because I was a major bitch to you,” Nayeon answered, pulling down a long driveway leading to a large house. “I owe you.” Dahyun didn’t say anything, mulling that prospect over as they got out of the car and headed inside the house. Immediately a dog came running up to them, barking like crazy and jumping up on Nayeon.

Dahyun didn’t mean to, but she let out a shriek, cowering away from the dog and back into the corner. 

“What’s wrong?” Nayeon whipped around instantly, seeing Dahyun’s fear. 

“I-I’m scared of dogs,” Dahyun whispered shamefully. The only dog she had ever felt comfortable around was her own, other people’s dogs still terrified her.

“He’s nice, I promise. He’s just a big goofball,” Nayeon assured her, leaning to scoop the dog up and holding him so he would calm a little. “Here, do you want to pet him?” 

Dahyun hesitantly walked over to Nayeon and the dog, cautiously extending a hand for him to sniff. He licked her gently, deciding her liked her, and Dahyun started to relax as she began petting him. “What’s his name?” 

“Kookeu,” Nayeon told her. “He’s really a sweetheart.” 

“I have a dog at home,” Dahyun said in a tiny voice. “He was supposed to help me be less afraid of dogs in general, but it ended up he’s the only one I’m not terrified of.” 

“Well now you have two dogs you’re not scared of, so that’s a step,” Nayeon said encouragingly, and Dahyun managed a smile. 

They headed upstairs to Nayeon’s room, Kookeu following them happily into the large bedroom. Dahyun let her eyes roam, taking in just how pink everything was, and how much space there was. Her bedroom at home was a decent size, but nothing like this. 

“Make yourself comfortable,” Nayeon told her easily, walking over to her vanity and grabbing a brush to run through her hair. Dahyun stepped a little more inside, pushing her glasses back up the bridge of her nose - a nervous tick she could never shake. She could see strings of photos hanging all over the room, almost completely covering the walls. Looking closer at them, she discovered nearly every one had either Sana or Mina in it, if not both. A few showed Nayeon and the captain of the volleyball team Yoo Jeongyeon, another smattering those two with student council president Park Jihyo. 

“You have a lot of pictures,” Dahyun remarked softly, making Nayeon laugh a little. 

“I love photos,” She said, walking over to stand by Dahyun. “It’s like getting to relive a memory looking at them.” She pointed to one that showed her, Sana, and Mina posing side by side, clearly dolled up for something. “That was the night of the huge Halloween party the football players always throw,” She explained. “God I was so hungover the next day, I literally could not stop puking.” 

“Do you drink a lot?” Dahyun asked, knowing she probably shouldn’t, but she was curious. 

“Honestly, after that, not as much. We all really overdid it that night. Even Mina was completely drunk, and she’s usually the responsible one,” Nayeon explained, and Dahyun nodded along. “Have you ever drank?” 

“Never,” Dahyun answered. “Unless you count communion wine.” 

“I mean I guess it’s wine regardless,” Nayeon laughed lightheartedly.

“I could never go to a party like that, my dad would kill me,” Dahyun said solemnly. “I would never get invited anyway.” 

Nayeon went silent for a few moments, and then, “Well if you do ever want to come to one let me know, I’ll get you in.” 

“Really?” Dahyun asked incredulously, shocked Nayeon would offer that. 

“Yeah, I mean, why not?” Nayeon sounded almost nervous, and it made Dahyun feel bad for questioning her.

They moved to sit on Nayeon’s bed after that, chatting while they worked on the project, and Dahyun came to know more and more about the girl she once would have sworn up and down she hated. Nayeon had so many stories, rambling about parties and cheer events and sleepovers with Sana and Mina. Dahyun could only listen, because the stories she had were all things that would get her taken out of her home. 

“Dahyun?” Nayeon blurted out abruptly while they were pasting down the diagrams onto the trifold board. “I’m sorry I let you do this all by yourself. I’m just really stupid, I would have messed it up.” 

“You’re not stupid,” Dahyun said firmly, shaking her head. “I like this kind of stuff anyway.” 

“I’m sorry I’m such a bitch,” Nayeon whispered. “I just really, really don’t know how to deal with anything and I take it out on people.” 

“It’s okay, I’m used to it,” Dahyun spoke without thinking, and instantly she clapped a hand over her mouth, like she could force the words back in. 

Nayeon didn’t bat an eye at her slip, whether sparing her the embarrassment or having genuinely not noticed Dahyun couldn’t tell. “Next time I start being mean just like, tell me to shut up or something. That’s what Sana does.” 

Dahyun smiled a little, nodding. “I’ll have to try that.” They went back to working for a minute, carefully arranging everything so it looked neat and orderly. Nayeon handled making sure everything was symmetrical, Dahyun trusting her to do so because despite having a lot of stuff in her room it was very orderly and clearly organized well. Shyly, Dahyun managed to say, “You know, if you ever need help in Chemistry I can tutor you.” 

Nayeon looked over at her, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth as she seemed to think over the offer. “Thank you,” She said finally. “That’s really nice of you.” After she finished gluing down the last diagram, she asked, “So are you actually a genius? Because that’s what everyone says.” 

“Uhm,” Dahyun hated questions like that, because she just really wanted to be normal. 

Sensing her hesitation, Nayeon quickly went on, “You don’t have to answer.” 

Dahyun had never told anyone outside of the people who administered her IQ test what her score was, but for some reason she felt okay telling Nayeon. “I scored a one hundred fifty five on the IQ test, so I’m five points below being considered a genius.” 

“Wow,” Nayeon said, like she was impressed. “What’s it like to be that smart?”

“It’s weird when people say I’m smart, cause sometimes I feel really stupid,” Dahyun knew she should stop rambling, but Nayeon listened intently and it encouraged her. “It’s like, I’m good at school, but I’m so socially inept. I’d rather be good at making friends.” 

“Have you always had a hard time relating to other kids?” Nayeon asked, and Dahyun nodded, wondering how Nayeon knew she felt like that. “I kind of get that, I was in gifted programs in elementary school. It was super isolating, so once I went to middle school I asked to be taken out of them.” 

“I didn’t know you could do that,” Dahyun said with a sigh. 

Nayeon shrugged. “It didn’t help me in the long run, clearly, cause I’m barely passing now. The only good thing that happened is I met Sana and Mina.” 

“But you’ll have all these nice memories from high school,” Dahyun countered, sounding wistful. “That’ll at least be nice.” 

Nayeon seemed to think on it, eyes cast down at their project. “Did you really mean it about tutoring me?” She said suddenly. 

“Yeah, promise,” Dahyun affirmed. 

“Thank you,” Nayeon sounded a little choked up, and it made Dahyun worry, until she went on sounding more normal, “I can do most of the talking when we present if you want, I know that’s not your thing.” 

“Thanks,” Dahyun grinned, a real one too. There was a clear shift happening between them, and she couldn’t exactly say she minded. In fact, she was kind of interested to see where things went.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @bbygirldahyun on tumblr n aff <3


	5. Chapter Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this took so long!
> 
> also be warned there's a lot of talk of abuse, bullying, and just overall sad things so read with caution!!

Midterms had been looming over everyone’s heads, and Dahyun could see it was taking a toll on Nayeon. She didn’t mean to watch the girl, but she couldn’t help her gaze falling on Nayeon during class. Who wouldn’t look at Nayeon? She was gorgeous, and wore such nice clothes, and she always looked so pretty with her lips all glossed and hair done nicely. 

But lately Dahyun hadn’t been focusing so much on Nayeon’s looks as how downright nervous she was. She’d mellowed significantly as midterms became the focus of class, and Dahyun watched her wince slightly when the teacher announced it would count for 40% of their final grade for the semester. 

The Friday before the last weekend they have to study before midterms Dahyun decided to take a little initiative. Right before class started, when Mina and Sana weren’t focused on Nayeon in favor of chatting to each other, Dahyun tapped Nayeon’s shoulder nervously. 

“Hey,” She tried to be nonchalant, but there was a tremor to her voice. She really hoped this didn’t upset Nayeon and provoke her into going back to her nastiness. Things had actually been somewhat pleasant between the two of them since they did their presentation together. “You nervous about midterms?” 

“Very,” Nayeon swallowed hard. She hated not seeming perfect, Dahyun could tell. She had a very don’t let them see you trip attitude, and her struggles with Chemistry didn’t fit into her ideal perfection. 

“The offer to tutor you is still on the table,” Dahyun whispered. “We can keep it on the down low.” 

She could see gratefulness spreading in Nayeon’s eyes. “Oh my god thank you.” Dahyun tried to maintain eye contact, but it’s uncomfortable, and her eyes subconsciously drifted down to settle on Nayeon’s lips. They were full and pretty; she liked watching how they move when the older girl spoke. “I owe you big time.” 

“I have one stipulation though,” Dahyun went on. “It has to be at your house.” 

“Deal,” Nayeon nodded quickly, turning back to face Sana and Mina when they asked what she was doing, acting like she and Dahyun weren’t even speaking. 

Lunch came quickly, Dahyun reading a book while she picked at her lunch, trying not to glance at Nayeon every few seconds. She could hear Nayeon’s voice faintly, and her laugh. She sat at a table with so many people, all the cheerleaders, the football players. And yet somehow she was the center of all of it, she was the one who stood out in all the right ways. Dahyun stood out in all the wrong ways, and she wished she could be able to blend into a crowd like that, to be paid attention to for good things. 

“Look at her, she’s pathetic!” Dahyun heard one of the football players talking, and she realized a little too late that she’d been staring too long, and he was talking about her. 

Her face burned in shame, and she quickly tried to go back to burying her nose in a book. 

“Oh shut up you idiot,” She heard Nayeon say. Without even looking, she could tell exactly what Nayeon’s face must have looked like; eyes narrowed, lips pursed, jaw clenched in anger. Dahyun had seen it more times than she would have liked to.

“Who pissed you off today? Usually you find it funny.” Dahyun wished she couldn’t hear them. It was a cruel joke, she thought, that half the time she couldn’t hear people when they were speaking directly to her and yet she managed to hear them discussing her this way crystal clear. 

“Well you’re not funny, so just sit down and shut up,” Nayeon hissed back, sounding angry now too. She snuck a glance at the table, seeing Nayeon was already looking at her, face solemn. “Ignore them,” She mouthed, or at least that’s what Dahyun thought she was saying. 

After the bell rang and she was trying to push through the crowds to get to her locker, she felt someone approaching her and instinctively tensed. “I’m sorry you had to hear that,” Nayeon’s voice met her ears, the older girl falling in step beside her. She looked really tall, wearing heels, and Dahyun felt minuscule next to her. 

“It’s fine,” Dahyun tried to act like she didn’t care. She wished she didn’t. She was so used to it she figured it should just glide off her back but it didn’t, every single insult and degradation stuck with her. 

“His opinion is absolutely worthless,” Nayeon went on, rolling her eyes. “Nothing worse than a teen boy who’s insecure about being a virgin.” 

Dahyun didn’t mean to, but she couldn’t hold back a small laugh. Nayeon was so blunt all the time, and Dahyun kind of admired that. She blurted things out accidentally and felt dumb for it, but Nayeon just said whatever is on her mind and owned it. 

“What I really wanted to talk about was studying this weekend,” Nayeon pulled a piece of paper out of her pocket, tucking it between Dahyun’s books she’s carrying. “Text me when you’re free, and I’ll come pick you up.” 

“Okay,” Dahyun felt her heart skip a few beats. She couldn’t believe this was real, Nayeon talking to her like they were friends, the prospect of seeing her this weekend. Sure, she’ll be there as a tutor and not a friend, but it’s better than Nayeon hating her. 

The thing Dahyun didn’t consider until she was on the bus riding home was how she was going to convince her dad to let her out of the house on the weekend. He was never open to the idea of her doing anything besides school and church, the only exception being academic competitions because it would aid her when applying to college. She had no idea how to broach the subject without absolutely pissing him off. Nervousness came over her as the bus pulled up to her house, and she breathed a sigh of relief when she saw her dad wasn’t home quite yet. 

When he did arrive home, Dahyun was already waiting on the couch with Ari in her lap. She figured it was better to get it over with asking him about going somewhere the next day. Ari gave her some courage, and comfort, the puppy nudging at her hand to be petted everytime she stopped absentmindedly stroking his fur.

“How was work?” She called quietly when she heard the door open and shut, signifying he was inside. 

“What do you want?” He said back instantly, knowing her question wasn’t from genuine interest and because she was trying to keep him in a good mood. 

“I was just wondering if you would be alright with me uh... with me tutoring someone, f-for midterms,” She tried to force herself to not be shaky, sitting on her hands so she didn’t do her nervous movements that he hated. 

He stepped into the living room, fixing his gaze on her, and she forced herself to sit up as straight as possible and meet his eyes. “Who?” 

“Im Nayeon,” Dahyun took shallow, nervous breaths. “She’s a senior.” 

“She must not go to our church, I don’t know her.” Dahyun almost rolled her eyes, but she knew way better than that. 

“I’m not sure where she goes to church,” Is all she said. “But she needs help with Chemistry and asked me to tutor her.” Silence fell, and then, “It would look good on college applications.” 

He sighed, sounding irritated, and Dahyun tried not to flinch already. “You know when your curfew is.” That was his way of saying yes, and Dahyun could breathe a sigh of relief, thank him, and then disappear upstairs for the rest of the night until she fell asleep. 

Dahyun woke up the next morning and listened carefully for footsteps, Ari still dozing on her chest, petting his head. The house sounded pretty silent, but maybe her father was downstairs. She hoped he was gone somewhere, in case he changed his mind at the last minute or something.

She took her phone and texted Nayeon, ‘Whenever you’re ready I’m ready’. 

‘Okay cool! Send me your address and I’ll be over in a min’. Nayeon replied quickly. Dahyun felt so glad she would be out of her house for practically the whole day, wanting to be anywhere but in her home.

She hurried to get dressed, wearing sweatpants and a loose t-shirt, looking herself over in the mirror for a long while. She hated what she saw, trying to make her frame disappear more beneath the fabric, fixated on every flaw she can find. How will she ever compare to Nayeon? She sighed, trying to adjust her glasses so they’d be straight at least, giving up when it didn’t work. 

Her phone dinged, Nayeon texting her that she was there, and Dahyun grabbed her backpack and ran down the stairs. Ari trailed her, whining when he saw her putting her shoes on, and she kneeled to pet under his chin. “I’ll be back, buddy. Be a good boy!” 

Nayeon’s car was parked outside, the older girl seemingly studying Dahyun’s house as she hurried down the path to climb into the passenger side. 

“Hi,” Nayeon said brightly, putting the car in drive and heading off to her house. “How was your morning?” 

“Fine.” It was always Dahyun’s token answer, because she frankly never had much nice to say about her life. She had learned around middle school when people ask questions like that they don’t actually care, they’re just trying to be polite. She didn’t understand why you would ask a question you don’t actually want a real answer to, but that’s how things are, so she had to adjust. “How was yours?” She asked back quickly, realizing it would be rude not to. 

“Oh it was good,” Nayeon drove carefully, turning down her street, Dahyun noting that the pavement road turned to entirely sidewalk; she had forgotten Nayeon lived in a richer part of town. 

Dahyun found herself relaxing as they stepped into Nayeon’s house, Kookeu running to bark at and jump up on Nayeon in excitement. She laughed and gently pushed him down, trying to keep him from getting too overzealous and scaring Dahyun again. 

“My parents are on a business trip this weekend,” Nayeon explained, leading Dahyun into the kitchen, which was very open with a big island in the middle. Dahyun hated her kitchen at home, it was entirely too cramped, and she just had too many bad memories there. This was a nice change. “So it’s just us and my brother, but he has football in the afternoon.” 

“Ah okay,” Dahyun nodded, sitting on the stool Nayeon pulled out for her. She leaned forward and rested her chin in her hand, trying to take in all the details of the kitchen. There was a calendar on the wall that seemed very detailed, pictures all over the fridge. It very clearly displayed a family that was involved, that enjoyed each other. 

Dahyun was snapped back to reality at a hunger pang hitting her stomach, and despite her best efforts her stomach growled. “Did you eat breakfast?” Nayeon asked softly, frowning when Dahyun shook her head. “I’ll get you something.” 

She felt a little awkward eating the bowl of oatmeal Nayeon made for her while the older girl just watched, but it tasted very good, and she was so hungry. She hadn’t eaten dinner the night before, not daring go downstairs unless her father asked her to come down for dinner. 

“You don’t eat a lot, do you?” Nayeon sounded concerned, and it made Dahyun’s stomach tie itself into knots. She hated questions like that. 

“I have a small appetite,” Dahyun answered quietly. She didn’t want to talk about why her meals were so often restricted, it would lead to too much explaining. 

“Okay,” Nayeon accepted her answer, but she didn’t seem to believe Dahyun. 

They fell into a study routine easily, Dahyun guiding Nayeon through problems as she explained, trying to delineate how to do it in a way that might be a little more understandable than the quick pace their teacher moves at. 

“Wow I never would’ve thought of doing it that way,” Nayeon muttered as she worked through a problem, Dahyun watching intently. “You do stuff really uniquely.” 

“Is that an insult?” Dahyun asked, brow furrowed. She hated that she couldn’t always tell right away when she was being mocked. 

“No, no, not at all,” Nayeon assured her. “You explain it in a way that most people wouldn’t think of but it works.” 

“I’m glad it helps,” Dahyun smiled shyly, happy to have been helpful. 

Even once they were done studying, Nayeon didn’t seem in any rush to take Dahyun home. Instead they went up to Nayeon’s room, movies humming in the background as they lounged in her bed and chatted. Dahyun tried to maneuver herself as carefully as possible, wanting to avoid lying on any of her freshest bruises. Nayeon watched her intently, eyes seeming to be wanting to commit every movement to memory. 

“Are you okay?” Nayeon whispered, and Dahyun felt heat rush to her cheeks. She hated how easy it was for Nayeon to read her. She hated not being able to control her face sometimes, how it gave away when she felt sick or was in pain. 

“Uh, yeah, I just...” She swallowed hard, nerves overcoming her. She had never been good under pressure; she had a few lies lined up like a script, but anything outside that typical script tripped her up. 

“It’s okay, you don’t have to say anything,” Nayeon eased her of her worries. “I shouldn’t be so nosy.” Dahyun forced a nervous smile. “But if you need anything, just tell me alright?” 

It was a more loaded statement than it seemed on the surface. Dahyun wanted to tell her so badly, wanted to tell someone, but she had never had the guts. Somehow her dad would find out. Somehow she would be punished for speaking up. She was too scared to say a word or do anything outside of her little lies and clothes that cover the evidence and excuses upon excuses for nearly unexplainable things. Even as a kid, she knew to never say a word, had been told enough times it would only make things worse, that she could go somewhere even more terrible if she spoke up. So she stayed quiet, if anything used to the familiarity, not wanting change, because that was all she knew.

Dahyun had always been conscious of the time when she’s been out, never wanting to break curfew, because she knew it would be a nightmare if she did. But something about Nayeon made Dahyun lose track of time, and by the time she looked at the clock it was ten minutes past her curfew already. 

“Oh god no,” She felt the panic rising, and her breathing getting more rushed, air sucked right out of her lungs. “No no no.” 

“What, what’s wrong?” Nayeon asked hurriedly. 

“My curfew,” Dahyun was nearing total hyperventilation, and Nayeon wasn’t sure what to do. 

“I’ll get you home okay? I’ll go as fast as I can,” Nayeon yanked her up and out of the house, speeding as fast as she dared down the streets.

Dahyun sat in the passenger seat, trying not to cry, rocking subtly back and forth as a fist rhythmically hit down on her thigh, desperate for the fear and panic to leave her. This was bad. This was going to be worse than she ever had to deal with before, she just knew it. 

“I’m sorry,” Nayeon said in a strained voice. “I really am Dahyun.” 

Words had entirely left Dahyun, and she couldn’t do anything but suck in a harsh breath and try to not absolutely lose her mind. They pull up to her house and she can see her father standing in the doorway, waiting for her, and it makes bile rise in her throat. 

“Dahyun, are you going to be okay?” Nayeon knew something was wrong, she could see the situation that was about to play in her mind’s eye. 

“I’ll be fine,” Dahyun lied in a hoarse voice. She couldn’t bring Nayeon into this, she couldn’t let her see the worst parts of her life. Nayeon only belonged with pretty things, and perfection. Not this. She could never tell Nayeon what happened inside her house.

“Call me, if you need to,” Nayeon said firmly. “I don’t care what time it is.” 

She could feel Nayeon watching her the whole way up the path to her porch and up the steps, and she just couldn’t help but will Nayeon to drive away, to not be a witness to any of this. She heard the car pulling away as soon as she was inside, and she couldn’t do anything then except brace herself for the worst of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @bbygirldahyun on tumblr & @bbygiridahyun on twitter xo


	6. Chapter Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in honor of dayeon being in the top 5 of that ship ranking on twitter, here's a new chapter 
> 
> as usual, there's lots of sad nonsense - talking about abuse and descriptions of injuries and the like. u guys know the drill at this point, just proceed with caution!

Dahyun woke on Monday morning to her father’s voice outside her door, telling her, “Don’t bother going to school today.” She breathed a sigh of relief, feeling how her whole body ached as she laid there, reaching blindly for Ari who was curled up beside her. He had stayed beside her all night, wanting to protect her, as he always tried to. She knew the only reason she was being allowed to stay home was so she didn’t draw attention to herself as she did the previous day at church, however much she tried to act like everything was normal.

She had wanted to skip church so badly, could barely stand herself up let alone walk normally. She was positive her ribs were badly bruised, if not entirely broken. Her entire body ached, her eyes red, swollen, and stinging from crying all night long. It never seemed to end, just when she thought she might get a reprieve things only seemed to get worse again. The worst part in Dahyun’s mind was poor Ari running in the way to try and protect her and getting kicked hard, shoved out of the way for daring to be a shield for Dahyun. She knows anyone else who was that injured would certainly stay home from church, probably even go to the hospital, but she just couldn’t. She had been trained too well to go to church even if the world was ending, so she begrudgingly trudged out to the car after her parents, dress rubbing against the fresh welts on her back, wincing with every breath as it feels like her ribs are stabbing her lungs. 

All of the sweet old ladies had immediately seen how she was limping, how she looked so miserable, and asked if she was alright. Dahyun couldn’t even open her mouth before her father was swooping in and assuring them she was fine, she had simply fallen down the stairs.   
Dahyun had almost laughed; yeah, she had fallen - after being pushed. It had caused such a fuss, though, given Dahyun had duties she had to perform during the service like passing out communion and leading the hymns. Everyone noticed how much pain she was in, and Dahyun could see the annoyance and perhaps even nervousness all over her parents’ faces.

So she wasn’t dumb enough to think her being told to stay home was for anything other than her father’s own peace of mind. He had control at the church, he could do all the talking there, but Dahyun could say whatever she wanted at school and that led him to panic. This bad of injuries had only opened once before, when she was in middle school, and he had made her go to school then. It had been about halfway through the day when Dahyun was called down to the office because multiple teachers had noticed her in pain and grew concerned. They had called her father to pick her up and he was livid the whole ride home, and Dahyun knew the teachers thought they were doing the right thing but they’d only made it worse for her. 

Ari shifted suddenly, padding up to curl up on Dahyun’s chest, nosing at her face and barking softly, clearly worried Dahyun isn’t okay. “Hey buddy,” She croaked, petting his head. “I’m okay.” He whined, tail tentatively starting to wag. It was hard to believe he was meant to be simply a family dog, shared between all of them. He had immediately attached himself to Dahyun, becoming her protector and really her only friend, and nobody could get him away from her. He growled everytime Dahyun’s father walked by, to the point he had threatened to get rid of Ari and Dahyun had to try and get him to knock it off.

Dahyun stayed in bed, dozing a little on and off again, feeling safer sleeping once her father had left for work. She was roused by her phone dinging with a message, making her jump and then cry out softly in pain. She fumbled for her phone, blinking hard to try and rid her eyes of sleep, smiling a little when she saw the message was from Nayeon, reading: ‘My favorite nerd isn’t at school today :(’ 

She sighed, trying to come up with a reply that won’t make Nayeon worry. Eventually she settled on saying, ‘Sorry, stayed home sick. Hopefully see you tomorrow!’

It barely took a minute for Nayeon to send back, ‘Are you okay?’ 

Dahyun knew that was a heavy question. Nayeon wasn’t an idiot, she could tell what was going to happen when Dahyun went inside even if she didn’t say it, and now she was worried about Dahyun. It was a foreign feeling, having anyone care about her, especially Nayeon. But it wasn’t unwelcome, however much Dahyun knew she couldn’t be entirely honest she was happy to know Nayeon cared at all. 

‘I’ll be fine, don’t worry.’ She texted back, and she didn’t get anything from Nayeon after that. She set her phone aside, laying back against the pillows and trying to assess whether it would be worth it to force herself out of bed for water because her throat felt like it was on fire. She was still debating when she heard a knock at the door, Ari perking up immediately and bolting off the bed to start barking, clawing at the bedroom door to be let out.

“You’re crazy,” Dahyun laughed to Ari, pushing herself up and shuddering; she was in even more pain than she had been at church. Every step was a struggle, breaths becoming shallow as she limped over to the door and opened it, Ari zipping out and down the stairs instantly, Dahyun struggling to follow. The stairs made her stomach turn, thinking about how terrifying it had been to going tumbling down them. She figured she was lucky she hadn’t gotten a concussion or something. “I’m coming!” She called as she took the stairs slowly, finally settling back onto solid ground at the bottom and trudging to go to the front door.

Shock settled over her face when it was Nayeon on the other side. “What are you doing here?” She asked incredulously. 

“I wanted to make sure you were okay,” Nayeon said, looking Dahyun up and down, frowning at how evident it was she had been crying all weekend. “You never miss school even when you’re sick, so I knew you didn’t just have a little cold.” Dahyun was floored that Nayeon had ever noticed she was always at school, and it made her feel a little shy for some reason. 

“Do you want to come in?” Dahyun blurted out despite herself. She knew if her father found out she’d had someone over he would make her life hell, but Dahyun just couldn’t help it. She wanted the normalcy Nayeon gave her, and she felt like Nayeon wouldn’t leave even if Dahyun told her to.

“Yeah, sure,” Nayeon smiled a little stepping inside. She kneeled to greet Ari, letting him smell her and decide he liked her, jumping up on her and licking her face. “He’s a sweetie.” 

“Yeah he is,” Dahyun said fondly. She felt a little insecure, then, realizing she was wearing old sweatpants and a baggy t-shirt and Nayeon looked like a model, as she always did. Her hair in a high ponytail, wearing high waisted skinny jeans and a crop top, lips glossed and makeup perfect. Dahyun could never wear an outfit like that, for a lot of reasons. 

“Are you in a lot of pain?” Nayeon stood back up, obviously able to tell from Dahyun’s body language she’s hurting. 

“Um,” Dahyun panicked, not sure what to say. For some reason she had the hardest time lying to Nayeon, and she quickly averted her gaze, shrugging. “I fell down the stairs,” She finally murmured, echoing her father’s excuse from church. 

“How did you fall?” Nayeon stepped closer to her, making Dahyun’s breath catch. 

“I told you before, I’m clumsy,” Dahyun managed, not able to make eye contact. “I slipped.” 

“Well you should be lying down,” Nayeon instantly moved to try and help Dahyun up the steps. “Grab my hand, okay? We can go slow.” It made Nayeon sick at how much pain Dahyun really was in, how every step made her stifle a cry, how she was shaking by the time they got up the whole staircase and started heading towards her room. Nayeon helped her lie down on the bed, watching with concern as Dahyun’s eyes shut, looking like even breathing was hurting her.

“I think my ribs are bruised,” She wheezed, a tear rolling down her cheek. Nayeon felt useless, not sure what she could do to help Dahyun at that point.

“Can I look?” Nayeon whispered. 

Any other time Dahyun would absolutely freak at the idea of anyone seeing her bare torso, not only because of the bruises but her own insecurities. But right then she was dizzy from being in so much pain, and she couldn’t do anything but mutter, “Sure.”

Nayeon carefully lifted her t-shirt, gasping at all the bruising around Dahyun’s ribs, fingers very gingerly moving to touch it, giving a sympathetic look when Dahyun winced. “They’re definitely bruised,” Nayeon said. “I’ve seen the cheer girls bruise their ribs from falling off pyramids and this is exactly how they looked.” 

“I need to be good enough to go to school tomorrow,” Dahyun said weakly, and Nayeon sighed heavily. 

“Let’s get some ice on them,” Nayeon finally decided. “Have you taken any painkillers?” 

“I can’t take pills,” Dahyun admitted, ears burning in embarrassment. She knew at her age she should be able to take pills but she never can, freaking out at the feeling of swallowing something whole like that. The last time she had tried to take a pill was when she’d broken out in hives in middle school and had been prescribed steroids. She couldn’t get the pill down no matter how much she tried, and it led to a lot of screaming and nothing getting done to help her allergic reaction. 

Nayeon seemed determined, though, fetching the ice packs, two painkillers, and a cup of pudding. “I’ll crush them up and you won’t even taste them.” Dahyun grimaced a little watching Nayeon use Dahyun’s Calculus book to crush the pills, mixing them with the pudding. “Here you go.” 

Dahyun took a bite, shocked when other than the texture being a little grainy it was hard to tell. “I’m shocked you’re not making fun of me,” She joked once she’d finished, but it put a heavy look behind Nayeon’s eyes. 

“I’m really sorry, Dahyun, for everything.” She sat down on the edge of Dahyun’s bed, carefully pressing an ice pack to either side of her ribs. “I was awful to you for no reason.” Dahyun sighed a little at the cool feeling against her bruising skin, breathing out a low breath, trying to keep the pain from making her lungs ache. “You don’t deserve the nasty shit people say and do to you.” 

“Thank you,” Dahyun reached for Nayeon’s hand, almost subconsciously, tired and not thinking how she usually would, seeking comfort and not solely survival. “I’m not mad at you.” 

“I know,” Nayeon sighed sadly. “But you should be. You’re too nice.” 

“Everyone deserves kindness,” Dahyun said plainly, watching Nayeon through half lidded eyes, seeing how Nayeon kept leaning to adjust the ice packs, to check on her, making sure she was as alright as possible. 

“Sana and Mina asked about you.” Nayeon changed the topic suddenly, and Dahyun was kind of thankful for that. She had dealt with enough heaviness all weekend.

“Really?” Dahyun laughed a little, wincing when it made her ribs ache. “What did they say?” 

“Sana asked if I was mean and made you skip,” Nayeon shook her head a little, thinking of her friends. “I told her I had no idea why you weren’t there.” Silence fell for a minute. “They’re nice, really...I’m the mean one.” 

“You don’t have to be, though,” Dahyun frowned. “You’re a big softie deep down, I can tell.” Nayeon smiled then, eyes warm, shifting so she could lie next to Dahyun rather than on the edge of the bed. 

“Your room is nice,” Nayeon murmured. Her eyes drifted around, taking in all the posters, mostly comic and Marvel movie stuff. There were a lot of academic medals too, hanging from her wall by her desk. Her desk was messy, books and papers and things all over the surface, but even amidst the chaos of the cramped room there was sort of organization to it, one that probably worked for Dahyun alone. “You like superheroes and stuff?” 

“Yeah,” Dahyun laughed a little. “I always have. I think it would be so cool to have superpowers or something.” 

“You already kinda do,” Nayeon turned her head to look at Dahyun, seeing her still looking at the ceiling. “You’re so smart. Who’s the one that’s just a genius and makes suits?” 

“Iron Man?” Dahyun looked over at her then, a bemused smile playing on her lips. 

“Yeah! You’d be like Iron Man,” Nayeon grinned giddily. “He’s cool.” 

Dahyun’s eyes were so full of light, Nayeon had never seen her like that before. She always looked so miserable at school, seeing her happy and engaged with one of her interests was wonderful. “You’d be Captain Marvel, cause she’s really powerful and confident.” Nayeon propped herself up on her elbow so she could look at Dahyun better, admiring her. “She can like, move planets and stuff.” 

“That sounds fun,” Nayeon said. “Mina likes Marvel too. But don’t tell her I told you that, she’s embarrassed about it.” 

Dahyun nodded, feeling happy despite what happened that weekend. Somehow Nayeon had become a light in her life when before she had been nothing but a source of hurt. “Who’s her favorite?” 

“The wizard one, um…” Nayeon furrowed her brow, trying to think. “Doctor Something.” 

“Doctor Strange!” Dahyun giggled, Nayeon nodding immediately. 

“Yes! That’s it,” She said. “She does his little hand thing sometimes and it’s funny.” Suddenly, she noticed Dahyun shifting a little, and she gave the girl a puzzled look. “Are you okay? 

“I…” Dahyun struggled to find a way to explain without totally telling her secret, but she couldn’t. “My back is...messed up, and it hurts to lie on it, but I can’t lie on my sides or my stomach either cause of my ribs.” All of the happiness they’d been sharing left quickly, Nayeon feeling horrible at how much Dahyun was struggling, how much pain she was in. 

“Let me check your back over,” Nayeon offered easily. “I’ve seen so many injuries from cheer, I might know how to help.” So Dahyun pushed herself into a sitting position, pulling her shirt up and almost off, biting her lip hard as Nayeon’s gaze fell on the welts on her back. Though Nayeon didn’t say anything, Dahyun could feel how tense she had grown, and she felt awful making Nayeon see this. “Dahyun...do you...are you like…” Nayeon couldn’t even form a coherent sentence. It was so terrible. She feels sick thinking about how much Dahyun got bullied at school only to go home and get worse than bullied there too. “Is there anything I can do?” 

“Not really,” Dahyun whispered, tears falling without permission, not wanting to look weak but unable to help it. She was weak. She felt so weak and fragile and helpless and she just thanked her lucky stars Nayeon was being so kind, not making it worse anymore. 

“This is awful, Dahyun,” Nayeon murmured, unable to tear her gaze away from the sight of Dahyun’s marred skin. “I...I feel like I should tell someone.” 

“No, please,” Dahyun instantly whipped around, eyes pleading. “Please, you can’t tell anyone!” 

“My mom’s a social worker, she can help though,” Nayeon tried to insist, but it was only making Dahyun more distraught. 

“I-I can’t, you c-can’t,” Dahyun was barely breathing, hysterical at the mere thought Nayeon might go tell someone her secret. “It would b-be worse, if he f-found out.” 

“Okay, okay,” Nayeon rushed to assure her. “I won’t tell anyone, I promise.” On a whim, she leaned and wiped the tears from Dahyun’s cheeks, so tender in her touch Dahyun didn’t flinch as she usually would. “But I’m serious, call me whenever you need something. I’ll come pick you up or just stay on the phone with you, whatever you want.”

“You don’t have to do that,” Dahyun said, shaking her head, feeling guilty. 

“I want to, because I care about you,” Nayeon insisted firmly, warmly. “We’re friends, right?” 

“We are?” Dahyun was shocked; she’d never had a friend before, so she didn’t know what to expect from it. 

“I wouldn’t be here if we weren’t,” Nayeon answered softly, taking Dahyun’s hand and squeezing affectionately. 

It was odd to think Nayeon had become her first and only friend, but it was nice too. Dahyun couldn’t help but think this might be too nice to last, but she didn’t want to let her pessimism get in the way of enjoying this new development and this new, sweeter side of Nayeon she had been seeing as of late. So she just smiled, squeezed Nayeon’s hand back, and whispered a meek, “Thank you for being my friend.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @bbygirldahyun on tumblr and @bbygiridahyun on twitter


	7. Chapter Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank u all for waiting patiently for this update! hope it doesn't disappoint...
> 
> all the usual content warnings for this story, u guys all know the drill by now i think. read with caution!

School dawned bleak the following day, Dahyun knowing she wouldn’t be granted another reprieve. She rose earlier than usual, crushing up more painkillers just as she’d seen Nayeon do and eating them in some yogurt before getting dressed, hoping that would be enough to get her through the school day without being in constant aching pain. She dressed very carefully, slipping a huge, baggy hoodie on and a pair of leggings, looking herself over in the mirror for a moment, scrunching her nose up at what she saw. She looked weak, tired, and pallid. She looked at herself more closely, feeling so detached from the person who stared back at her, crooked and taped glasses permanently askew on her nose, hair pulled back in a loose ponytail, face void of any color, any life. 

Dahyun was in a daze the whole morning, letting Ari out quickly before running to catch the bus, leaning her head against the window and watching the town roll by, sighing lowly at how exhausted she felt, how tired of all of this she was. At least she had whatever tentative friendship she and Nayeon were beginning, but even that seemed too good to last. So many things in Dahyun’s life came and went so quickly, fleeting moments of happiness crumbling away to even worse days, leaving her distrustful of any good. She was gullible, and perhaps a bit naive, she knew that. She took everything at face value, assuming the best of everyone even if they gave her reason to think otherwise, and she worried she was doing that with Nayeon. What if Nayeon was playing some elaborate prank on her? What if she showed up to school and everyone knew her dirty secret and she’d have to deal with even more teasing, even more nastiness? 

She didn’t think that was the case, but it worried her still. It was all she could think about as the bus pulled up to the school and she shuffled her way off, trudging into the school with her head down, watching her shoes scuff against the floor. Her hand twitched at her side, anxiety immediately spiking as the doors shut behind her, the onslaught of loudness and shouting grating to her, making her wince. School was hell, she thought. Even the Devil couldn’t come up with anything worse than high school. She always wanted to say that to her father when he talked about how if she didn’t learn soon she’d be headed to hell - she was already there. 

Dahyun didn’t think much as she spun her lock to open up her locker, halfway into some daydream about comics, but when she saw a small gift bag she startled. Brow furrowed, she peeked inside quickly, scared to pull it out and have it end up being a prank or something. She’d made that mistake one too many times; like last year, when one of the cheerleaders somehow rigged her locker up with an open bottle of water so it spilled all over her when she opened the door. 

A smile formed on her face when she saw a note on top of the tissue paper, her name in handwriting she recognized as Nayeon’s. She flipped the card open, smile only growing as she read. ‘Dahyun - I know this can’t fix it, but hopefully it helps. Take it easy today, nerd. You got this.’ As she pulled the tissue paper away, she saw a bag of chocolates and she practically beamed, wondering how Nayeon knew. She had a massive sweet tooth, always had, but her father hardly ever allowed sweets in the house, so the rare opportunities she got chocolate she savored it immensely. Under the bag of chocolates, she saw a handmade ‘ticket’ reading, ‘Free pass to make me watch any Marvel movie you want.’ 

“You like it?” Nayeon’s voice made Dahyun jump, and then turn around and break out in another gleeful grin. 

“How did you get in my locker?” Dahyun giggled, ripping open the bag of chocolates to take one out, unwrap it, and pop it in her mouth. She hummed at the taste - it’d been so long since she had anything sweet. The last taste of chocolate she’d had was the chocolate chip cookie in that lunch she’d found in her locker weeks ago. That made her pause for a moment, pondering. She’d never found out who gave her that lunch, had honestly forgotten about it until now. She really had no clue, everyone in school had some level of distaste for her, or at the best ignored her existence entirely. She did feel a bit odd at how seemingly easy it is for people to get into her locker, given Nayeon and whoever gave her that lunch managed to. 

“I’m good at picking locks,” Nayeon sighed with a grin, slipping a bobby pin out of her hair and waving it a little. “All I need and I can get in anywhere.” 

“You’re funny,” Dahyun chuckled, finally going about hanging her backpack up and getting out her books for her first class. “My lock must be faulty or something, this is the second time this year someone’s broken into my locker.” 

“Ah, really?” Nayeon is subdued, then, voice less boisterous than before. Dahyun didn’t think too much into it, though, she had never been good at reading people’s tones and figured she was either imagining it or it was a normal tone she just didn’t understand. She did that a lot, questioning things that were seemingly normal to everyone else, like small talk. She had never understood that. This was probably one of those things she just didn’t get, she was sure of it.

“Yeah, awhile ago someone left me food,” Dahyun laughed a little again, shutting her locker and then turning to face Nayeon, admiring how she looked. Hair sleek and falling over her shoulders, a cute t-shirt tucked into her high waisted jeans with rips down the legs, hoop earrings in and bubblegum pink lipstick on. Dahyun felt that pang of envy she always did looking at Nayeon; she was so pretty, had a beautiful body, she knew how to dress herself and had the money and means to do it. Dahyun wished she had that. “I honestly thought they did it to be mean, like they put something gross in it.” 

“Oh wow,” Nayeon frowned, pain crossing her face. “Has someone done that to you before?” 

“I mean when I was in elementary school kids would give me food they dropped on the floor, I didn’t know why they were giving me food and I just blindly trusted them.” Dahyun hung her head, mentally scolding herself for oversharing. She just couldn’t help it sometimes, she rambled on without even meaning to. 

“Oh god,” Nayeon sounded disgusted, shaking her head. “That’s literally sick.” 

“Anyways, uh yeah,” Dahyun swallowed hard, embarrassed. “Thank you for the gift, it's...it’s really nice.” 

“Yeah, of course,” Nayeon smiled sincerely. “You deserve nice things, and I figured after everything, it...it was the least I could do.” 

Dahyun realized, then, this was about more than her bad weekend. This was about all of her history with Nayeon, all of the things the older girl had done, and this was her continuing to extend the olive branch of peace and to remind Dahyun she was incredibly sorry, and she was going to let her actions reflect her words of remorse. 

“You want a piece?” Dahyun asked, offering a little chocolate, and Nayeon laughed a little, eyes warm and bright. 

“They’re supposed to be yours,” Nayeon reminded her. 

“But I want to share,” Dahyun insisted. “That’s what friends do.” 

Nayeon took the piece wordlessly, but her smile spoke for itself, looking so fondly at Dahyun as she unwrapped the piece of chocolate and put it between her bubblegum pink lips.

~

Fridays always offered some sort of school event, usually a pep rally. The cheerleaders always roamed the school in their uniforms or some football player’s jersey, and the classes were cut short to allow time for the celebration of school spirit at the end of the day. This Friday happened to be the faculty versus student volleyball game, a school favorite given the teachers would be playing volleyball against some of the senior class. 

Dahyun had never actually been to a pep rally, always opting to find somewhere to hide instead. It was not her kind of environment, all of that commotion and noise and people everywhere. Where would she sit all by herself? What if someone started something with her in the bleachers? Besides, it always annoyed her how people talked all through assemblies. Wasn’t it a rule to be quiet and respectful? Why did people only have to follow some social rules but it was okay to ignore others? How was she supposed to know which ones to follow and which ones to not care about? Her non understanding always took her into situations she didn’t want to be in, and it was easier to just not attend the thing at all. 

But then, Nayeon came into the picture. And she had looked so disappointed when Dahyun told her she wasn’t planning on going to the game. So Dahyun had to go; she couldn’t let her one and only friend down like that.

That’s how she ended up at the very back corner of the bleachers, legs tucked up under her chin, sighing heavily as she tried to block out all the noise. It was all so overwhelming, everyone hooping and hollering, the band playing songs loudly, the squeaking of the sneakers on the freshly polished gymnasium floor. Her eyes fixed on Nayeon and the other cheerleaders, a half smile playing on her lips at how in her element Nayeon seemed. Her hair up in a high ponytail, adorned with a glittering bow, equally as glittering makeup on her eyes and pom poms in her hands. She was evidently the leader, front and center, Mina and Sana on either side of her making a triangle with her as the point, all of the other cheerleaders behind the three of them. They cheered and shouted, bright smiles on their faces, and Dahyun watched longingly, wishing she had something like that, somewhere she belonged. 

The student council president, Jihyo, milled around the gym, making sure everything was running smoothly. She was in charge of the whole thing, and she was the one who chose the team of seniors, captain of the volleyball team Jeongyeon doubling as both coach and head player. It made Dahyun’s heart ache, everyone else seeming to have somewhere, have someone, and she had nobody. She wasn’t part of anything, would never be a part of anything like this. She had considered joining the band, until she realized she couldn’t play piano for marching band and had to scrap that idea. Then she considered signing up for choir, but she quickly scrapped that idea too; she used to sing and dance for her church choir, but she’d heard too many nasty comments from other kids then to feel confident enough to try choir again now. 

She sighed, realizing once again she would never belong anywhere, figuring she should be used to it by now. But still, the stinging pain it left in her heart never seemed to go away. She thought she might feel like this forever, this intense loneliness, like she was the only person who didn’t fit the mold. When she was a kid she used to think she must be some sort of alien or something, nobody seemed to get her, and she didn’t seem to get anyone else either. Now, she had come to realize that was just the sad reality of her life, that she was always going to be out of the loop, that she had to learn how to fit in by watching, she didn’t have the innate ability everyone else seemed to have to blend in. 

Suddenly, she felt herself pulled from her reverie, now noticing Nayeon had spotted her in the crowd, eyes lighting up as she waved her pom pom up at Dahyun. Dahyun felt her cheeks go red, ears burning as she shyly waved back, hating how people in the bleachers had turned to look at her then, whispers here and there. But Dahyun just kept her eyes on Nayeon, smiling a little, laughing softly to herself when Nayeon winked her way. It made her feel less alone, somehow, reminded of the sudden liking Nayeon had taken to her, and she remembered that for the first time in her entire life she didn’t have to exist entirely in solitude. 

After the pep rally, the bell ringing to signal the end of the day and everyone scrambling to get to the parking lot, Dahyun nervously shuffled over to where the cheerleaders were to say hi to Nayeon. It was Sana who spotted her, nudging Nayeon with her elbow, drawing the oldest girl’s attention. “Hey,” Nayeon grinned. “Did you have fun?” 

“Yeah, a little,” Dahyun sighed. “It’s really loud, though.” 

“Oh yeah, the marching band is loud,” Nayeon laughed, stepping closer to Dahyun, away from Mina and Sana. Dahyun could see out of the corner of her eye that Nayeon’s friends were watching them with confused expressions, turning to each other to talk in hushed tones Dahyun couldn’t hear. “I was really happy when I saw you came.” 

“I’m glad I came,” Dahyun admitted, and it was the honest truth. Despite everything, she enjoyed seeing Nayeon cheer; it almost made her consider going to a football game so she could see Nayeon’s halftime show. “I should go, though, catch my bus.” She was reluctant, wanting to stay and chat with Nayeon more, but it would be hell if she missed the bus. She’d have to walk home, and it was already a long drive, meaning an even longer walk. 

“Oh I can give you a ride,” Nayeon offered nonchalantly. “Go get your stuff, we can meet at my car.” 

“You don’t have to-”

“Don’t argue, nerd, just do it.” 

Nayeon’s voice was teasing, but in an affectionate way, one Dahyun didn’t mind. The term ‘nerd’ had come to mean something else, turning from a genuine insult to almost a term of endearment, like Nayeon’s personal pet name for her. She didn’t mind that at all. So she hurried off to her locker to get her things, hearing behind her how all the cheerleaders instantly began chattering, her name coming from both Mina and Sana, but she tried not to think about that. She didn’t have to make all the cheerleaders like her, all she wanted was Nayeon to still find her worthwhile. She realized as she slung her backpack over her shoulder, wincing when it stung her still healing wounds, just how attached she had grown to Nayeon already. She wondered if maybe she should be more critical of Nayeon’s past actions, but it truly did seem like Nayeon was sorry, and she was being incredibly kind, more than she really needed to be. 

Dahyun grinned as she slipped in the passenger seat of Nayeon’s car, setting her backpack down in front of her legs. “Thanks for the ride,” She murmured, Nayeon shooting her a grin to say it was no problem. 

“How have things been?” Nayeon asked once they were on the rode, one of her hands resting on the steering wheel and her other hand subconsciously drifting towards Dahyun. 

“Fine, I guess,” Dahyun sighed, that familiar anxiety about things she shouldn’t talk about coming up again, but she stamps it down. Nayeon was different, she wouldn’t tell. Dahyun could trust her. “We haven’t talked much.” 

Nayeon nodded, knowing Dahyun meant her father without her having to say it. “How’s your mom? Like, does she…” 

“She doesn’t do anything to me,” Dahyun said quietly. “She doesn’t stop it either though.” 

“That’s horrible, Dahyun,” Nayeon looked a little sick, shaking her head just as she had when Dahyun had relayed her story about elementary school. It was odd to Dahyun to think that Nayeon had no clue what it was like to be bullied, to feel how Dahyun did. She was happy Nayeon had never known that pain, but then again she wondered if that was why Nayeon didn’t quite realize the impact of her words before getting to know Dahyun. 

“It’s alright,” Dahyun said instinctually, the response practically programmed in her brain. “I’m alright.” 

“You should get to be more than alright, though,” Nayeon countered adamantly. “You should get to be good, great even.” She sighed heavily, turning down Dahyun’s street. 

“Oh god,” Dahyun whispered, spotting her father’s car already in the driveway. What was he doing home so early? Usually he didn’t get home until around dinner time. 

“What’s wrong?” Nayeon asked hurriedly, slowing the car a little. 

“My dad’s home early,” Dahyun muttered back, like she felt like he could somehow hear her even in the privacy of Nayeon’s car. 

“Are you gonna be okay?” Nayeon looked so stricken with worry, guilt and distress playing on her features. Dahyun wanted to wipe it all away, didn’t want her prettiness marred by painful things, by worry. 

“I think so,” Dahyun said honestly - she couldn’t think of anything she’d be in trouble for now. She’d been the model of perfection since breaking curfew by accident. 

“Call me when you can,” Nayeon made it clear that wasn’t a request, and Dahyun nodded instantly, shooting Nayeon a thumbs up before clambering out of the car and hurrying up the grass to the porch steps. Nayeon waited until Dahyun was entirely inside and then some before pulling away, Dahyun stiff as she kicked her shoes off and watched Nayeon’s car pull away finally. 

“I need to talk to you,” Dahyun’s father’s voice pierced the silence, making her tense, swallowing her nerves and tucking her hands in her hoodie pocket to keep them from wringing in front of him. 

“Is everything okay?” She asked softly, stepping into the kitchen where he sat at the table, hands folded under his chin. Dahyun tried to ignore the discomfort of leveling gazes with him, eye contact never her favorite thing and especially not with her father. It made her stomach turn, but she had to do it - she’d learned the hard way he demanded her respect, and eye contact while he spoke was part of that. 

“That girl you tutored, who kept you past your curfew,” His voice was cold, and Dahyun knew that wasn’t a good sign. “You didn’t tell me she was a cheerleader.” 

“I didn’t know that was important,” Dahyun said quietly. She couldn’t imagine what that had to do with anything. Why did he care? Shouldn’t he want Dahyun to be assimilating into the general student body? Didn’t he tell her all the time he wanted her to be normal? 

“Everyone I talked to at our church about her had things to say, and not many of them were nice,” His eyes narrowed, and Dahyun squeezed her hands together tightly in her hoodie pocket, trying and failing to control her anxiety. “She has quite a reputation.” 

“I didn’t know,” Dahyun said instantly, watching his jaw set in anger at being interrupted. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have interrupted.” 

“Well now that you do know, I don’t want you associating with her anymore,” The words settled in Dahyun’s brain, making tears prick in her eyes, and she almost shook her head before she forced herself to hold back. Of course, she finally found a nice thing in her life and he had to take that away too. He’d taken everything else, and now he was going to take Nayeon. It just wasn’t fair. “You need to be focused on school and applying to college. She would be a distraction, and a bad influence on you.” 

“Okay,” Dahyun couldn’t force out anything else, biting hard on her cheek to force herself to not cry, only turning to leave when her father waved her away, running up the steps and to her room, startling Ari by letting the door shut a bit hard behind her, bursting into choked sobs she still desperately tried to keep quiet. Ari immediately leaped up, jumping up on her to try and get her attention. “Hey buddy,” She whispered tearfully, picking him up and cuddling him close. 

It was hard to believe she used to be petrified of him when they first brought him home. She’d had such a crippling fear of dogs, to the point her parents made her see a therapist, who suggested they get a family dog to acclimate her to being around an animal. Ari hadn’t been deterred at all by her fear, in fact he had patiently waited and showed her he wasn’t scary, and she had fallen totally in love with the puppy. He’d become her support, and he was always the one thing that managed to calm her down when she got really worked up, and that’s what he was trying to do now, licking her cheek and barking softly, almost sound worried. 

Dahyun waited until she heard her father taking a phone call on the back porch, leaning out her window to make sure he was occupied before taking her own phone out and calling Nayeon. “Hey I was wondering when you’d call,” Nayeon said as soon as she picked up.

“We can’t be friends anymore,” Dahyun blurted out in a hushed voice, feeling tears bubbling up again. 

“Wait what? What happened?” Nayeon instantly sounded worried again, and Dahyun could only sigh. 

“My dad, he thinks you’d be a bad influence or something, I don’t know,” Dahyun sniffled. “He said you have a reputation.” 

“I do?” Nayeon laughed almost, seemingly confused. “Well we can still be friends, but like...on the down low.” 

Dahyun mulled that over for a second. “Like, sneak around?” 

“If you’re okay with that,” Nayeon said. “We can pretend nothing changed at school though, if you want. Might be easier for everyone, Sana and Mina were all weird about me giving you a ride.”

“Yeah, that’s probably better,” Dahyun sighed heavily. “We’ll be secret friends.” 

“Secret friends,” Nayeon giggled. “You’re cute.” 

“I’ve never snuck around like this before,” Dahyun confessed in an anxiety ridden tone. 

“It’ll be okay, I promise,” Nayeon assured her softly. “We won’t do anything stupid.” 

Dahyun panicked, then, seeing her father heading back inside. “I have to go, I’m sorry. Thank you, for everything.” 

“Take care of yourself, Dahyunie,” Nayeon whispered right as Dahyun hung up, heart pounding and head spinning at the thought that for the first time in her life she was going to do something behind her father’s back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @bbygirldahyun on tumblr and @bbygiridahyun on twitter xx


	8. Chapter Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you all for waiting so patiently for this! i hope you enjoy a fluffier chapter..pls tell me your thoughts!!

Dahyun had always been a rule follower. She’d never purposefully done anything to go against the many rules her father had laid out for her, and she never thought she would, but the idea of having to give up the only friendship she’d ever had didn’t sit right with her. She should be allowed to have friends like everyone else, she should get to be normal and hang out with people from school and do fun teenage things. So, she and Nayeon texted secretly, sometimes talking on the phone if Dahyun was feeling brave. She didn’t know how she’d feel about actually going out and sneaking around behind her father’s back, and Nayeon respected that, assuring her it was fine if they just text. 

At school, it was like nothing had changed. Dahyun continued eating alone at lunch, usually reading some comics and trying to limit the amount of glances she shot Nayeon’s way. Nayeon was how she always was, chattering away to Mina and Sana, rolling her eyes when boys tried to come and flirt with her. She would shoot an occasional look at Dahyun, eyes full of worry, so Dahyun would try her best not to look so miserable for Nayeon’s sake.

It was better this way, Dahyun thought. It kept people from asking questions, if Nayeon acted as if she couldn’t be bothered with Dahyun as she always had before. Dahyun had even told her in one of their nighttime phone calls if Nayeon wanted to keep up the bullying facade she could, to make it truly look as if nothing had changed. 

“I don’t want to be mean to you ever again,” Nayeon had said, sounding sickened by the suggestion. 

“But I know you don’t mean it,” Dahyun had clarified, whispers barely audible but enough Nayeon could decipher what she was saying. “Besides, it’ll be better for me if nobody ever suspects.” She couldn’t imagine the trouble she would be in if her father found out what she was doing, deliberately going against his orders to continue being friends with Nayeon, so it would make everything easier if absolutely nobody could’ve even guessed at them being more than indifferent to one another. 

So every now and then at school, when Dahyun and Nayeon passed in the hallway, Nayeon would call a, “Hey dork,” to Dahyun, occasionally accompanied by a too gentle elbow to the arm, but it was enough for her friends to snicker, and for Dahyun to feel secure in the knowledge everyone would still see Nayeon as her bully, not her friend. 

Dahyun was under the impression she would never quite be comfortable hanging out with Nayeon again, the risk was too high. She would lie on her bed on Friday nights, Ari tucked under her arm as she’d mindlessly scroll through social media, heart twisting in her chest every time she saw Nayeon out with friends, knowing if she was brave she could be with Nayeon too. Pictures on Instagram of Nayeon with Mina and Sana at football games, videos on her private Snapchat story that Dahyun had - to her surprise - been newly added to of the parties Nayeon would go to afterwards. She felt jealousy brewing every time, and it made it harder to ignore the desire to just hang out with Nayeon.

Her chance came one weekend when her parents informed her they would be taking a short trip out of town for church business. Usually, she would be forced to go along with her younger brother, but this time her father pointedly told her he wanted her staying home to focus on her studies. So she would have the house alone, for two days, free to do anything she pleased - and she knew exactly what she wanted to do. 

“Yeah?” Nayeon said when she picked up Dahyun’s frantic phone call on Friday night. There was chatter and noise all around her Dahyun could hear, and it made her frown. “You okay?” 

“My parents are going out of town,” Dahyun murmured into the receiver. “Do you want to do something this weekend?” 

“Of course!” Nayeon sounded so bright, and Dahyun knew she must be beaming, that toothy grin that made Dahyun’s heart skip a beat in her chest. “Tomorrow?” 

Before Dahyun can reply, she hears Sana through the other side of the phone asking, “Who are you on the phone with, Nayeonie?” 

“None of your business,” Nayeon laughed back to Sana, Dahyun waiting with baited breath in desperation, squeezing her eyes shut and praying Sana won’t find out somehow. 

“Why are you being so secretive?” Mina giggled. “What are you hiding?” 

“Is it a boy?” Sana gasped, and Dahyun felt her throat tighten in worry at how Nayeon scoffed. 

“Can you guys knock it off,” Nayeon sighed, exasperated. “Sorry about that,” She said more quietly to Dahyun. 

“Where are you?” Dahyun whispered hoarsely. 

“On the bus, coming back from a football game,” Nayeon sounded annoyed then, tired. Dahyun could only imagine how exhausting it must be going to every football game, performing every halftime show. She would hate a football game, she thought. It would be so loud, so crowded, too much for her delicate senses. She had never done well with crowds or loud noises. 

“Oh, I’ll let you go then,” Dahyun frowned a little, feeling like an intruder on Nayeon’s time with her friends, her normal life. Dahyun knew she had chosen this, that this was necessary for them to be able to be friends at all, but she couldn’t help feeling out of place being so secretive, and knowing Nayeon’s normal friends would not understand why Nayeon would even want to hang out with Dahyun at all. 

Sometimes Dahyun wondered if it was some weird sort of pity that led Nayeon to be kind to her, to humor her presence, like Nayeon felt obligated after knowing about Dahyun’s home life and how much she had always struggled to make friends. She didn’t like to think their friendship was built on pity and obligation, but she couldn’t fathom what Nayeon would see in her that made her worthy of friendship; she’d always been such an outcast, the ‘weird’ one, and that certainly hadn’t changed - so what had?

“No, no, I’m bored anyways,” Nayeon laughed. “This ride is long.” 

“Listen to music or something,” Dahyun teased, smiling despite herself. Whatever the intention, she enjoyed times like this, when she felt like a real person and not an alien incapable of social interaction without being humiliated. 

“I was, but I’m still bored,” Nayeon sighed, sounding like she was shifting around in her seat. “So tomorrow?” 

“Yeah that sounds good,” Dahyun felt giddy, almost, dizzy with excitement at the idea of seeing Nayeon in person outside of school. 

“Dahyun?” Nayeon asked suddenly, and before Dahyun could even ponder the sudden questioning tone to her voice Nayeon went on, “Thank you for being my friend.”

“You’re thanking me?” Dahyun asked with a tiny laugh of disbelief. “I should thank you.” 

“No, you shouldn’t,” Nayeon amended softly. “I should be lucky you don’t hate me.” 

“Well, there’s no hard feelings, I promise,” Dahyun sighed, and she meant it truly, with every ounce of her. She wasn’t one to hold grudges, especially not when Nayeon had made every effort and then some to show her remorse. Dahyun couldn’t hate her if she tried. 

~

Dahyun roused far too early Saturday morning, mind too excited to allow her to rest any longer. She couldn’t help but grin as she moved around the empty house, Ari trailing after her eagerly, ears perked as he could tell Dahyun was happier than usual. She had never been left alone for a weekend before, and when she realized she could do whatever she wanted, eat whatever she wanted, sit in the living room if she wanted, it just made her heart soar. She stayed in her pajamas as she sat on the living room couch with her bowl of cereal, all things she was not supposed to do, and it felt like a rush. 

‘You up?’ Her phone buzzed with a text from Nayeon, making her grin grow wider. 

‘Yep!’She sent back quickly, watching the three bubbles signifying Nayeon was typing flash up on the screen. 

‘I’m ready whenever you are.’ The text read, and Dahyun hurried to put her empty bowl in the sink and get back up the stairs to start getting ready. 

‘Give me five.’ She typed quickly, distractedly trying to make her bed while she did it.

Usually she dressed with one thing in mind - modesty. Her parents were obsessed with it, and given her insecurities about her body she wasn’t exactly complaining about not being able to show off skin, but sometimes she longed even for just wearing a form fitting t-shirt without getting warning glances from her parents. But today, she could dress however she wanted. So she put on a pair of skinny jeans and a t-shirt with the sleeves cuffed, looking herself over in the mirror. She still looked geeky, but she figured she always would with her taped up glasses and the fact she didn’t wear makeup at all. But this was certainly a step away from her usual baggy clothing and trying to hide behind the fabric. 

A honk of a car horn from outside alerted her Nayeon had arrived, and she hurried downstairs as fast as she could, calling, “Be a good boy, Ari!” as she hopped out the door, making sure to lock it behind her. 

“Oh you look so cute!” Is the first thing Nayeon said as Dahyun clambered into the car, eyes roaming all over Dahyun. “Why don’t you dress like that more often?” 

Dahyun shrugged, settling into her seat as Nayeon pulled away and started driving down the street. “My parents are big on modesty,” She finally said. “And I...I don’t know, I don’t exactly have the kind of body you wanna flaunt, you know?” 

“No I don’t know,” Nayeon replied pointedly. “You have a nice body.” Dahyun scoffed a little, shaking her head, but Nayeon was always stubborn, not taking Dahyun’s disbelief. “I’m serious! You look nice when you’re not hiding yourself.”

“Hiding is all I know how to do,” Dahyun remarked in a hushed voice, making Nayeon frown a little. “What are we doing today?” She questioned then, hoping to lighten the mood somewhat. 

“I found a vintage comic store I thought you might like,” Nayeon answered with a beam. “Do you wanna go?” 

“Really?” Dahyun couldn’t help the awe in her voice; she knew comics were not Nayeon’s thing, nowhere close, but she was willing to waste her whole Saturday poring through them at some little shop because Dahyun loved them. She had never had anybody indulge her interests before, she was so used to being told they were dumb.

“Yeah, of course,” Nayeon shot her a warm glance. “We could get lunch after too.” 

Dahyun knew the glee was evident on her face from the second they pulled up to the comic shop, trailing Nayeon eagerly as they headed inside and the bell chimed softly overhead. It was entirely empty, but Dahyun expected that - most people didn’t want to spend a nice Saturday doing something like this. 

“I don’t know anything about comics,” Nayeon confessed with a little laugh.

“That’s okay,” Dahyun smiled. “We can just browse, no pressure.” 

“Tell me about the characters you like,” Nayeon prompted as they stood at a box of Marvel comics labeled ‘X-Men’. 

“You don’t want to open that door,” Dahyun joked. “When I start talking I don’t stop.”

“Then start talking,” Nayeon pressed, moving to stand close to Dahyun’s side, peering at the comics as the younger girl flipped through them. “I want to listen.” 

Dahyun looked over at Nayeon, eyes trying to search her face to see if this was a joke she wasn’t getting. She had never had anyone who found her worthwhile, who wanted to listen to her speak. She couldn’t help but talk about her interests sometimes, rambling to whoever would listen until inevitably they told her to shut up. She didn’t know why Nayeon would want to hear, but she did, seemingly, eyes expectant and lips quirked in a playful smile. 

“Well I was trying to find the first comic Scarlet Witch was ever in,” Dahyun started, gesturing to the box they’re standing by. “I’ve never been able to find an actual vintage copy, only new prints.” 

“Who’s that one?” Nayeon suddenly came up behind Dahyun and wrapped her arms around Dahyun’s waist ever so gently, resting her chin on Dahyun’s shoulder. 

“Her,” Dahyun pointed to a page of a comic. “In the movies - have you seen any of the movies?” 

“Uh, a few? I don’t know which ones. Mina makes us watch them sometimes,” Nayeon answered softly. 

“She’s the one who moves stuff with her mind, Wanda. Her twin is the really fast one,” Dahyun explained, feeling her heart slamming in her chest at how close she and Nayeon were right then, at how normally she would flinch away from touch but right now she feels warm. 

“Oh yeah, I know who you mean,” Nayeon nodded. “Is she your favorite?” 

“Yeah, one of them,” Dahyun couldn’t hold back a smile. “I have a hard time choosing just one though. I like so many.” 

“I get that,” Nayeon stepped back then, reaching to take the comic Dahyun held in her hands. “Let me buy this for you.” 

“Oh god, no, Nayeon,” Dahyun immediately tried to take it from Nayeon again, pouting a little when the older girl held it above her head. “Give it back!” She giggled, standing on tiptoe trying to reach it. 

Suddenly she remembered a situation all too similar, and yet so entirely different at the same time. A time when Nayeon had taken her homework and held it up so Dahyun couldn’t reach it just like this, making Dahyun jump for it in the middle of the hallway, everyone crowding around to laugh. She’d felt like an animal in a zoo or something, just entertainment for everyone else to gawk at. 

It was clear Nayeon remembered too, face growing solemn as she lowered her hand, reaching to give Dahyun the comic back. “I promise, I want to.” 

“You don’t have to buy me things to make up for stuff, you know that right?” Dahyun asked in a hushed voice, stepping closer to Nayeon and taking the comic, their hands brushing and leaving Dahyun reluctant to pull away. 

“I know,” Nayeon sighed. “But I like getting you things, especially something like this that makes you so happy.” She reached suddenly then, to brush Dahyun’s hair behind her ears, Dahyun flinching instinctually but then softening, smiling at how tender Nayeon was. “You look so pretty when you don’t hide.”

“You always look pretty,” Dahyun laughed nervously. “But I mean, you know that.” 

Nayeon let a fond smile play on her face, almost looking shy. “What do you mean?” 

“Like, you have a bunch of boys chasing after you all the time,” Dahyun swallowed hard, a lump rising in her throat telling her to stop talking, quit while she’s ahead. “Girls too probably,” She muttered, cheeks burning, mentally berating herself for talking too much. 

“I don’t know about girls,” Nayeon laughed in an easygoing manner, making Dahyun relax a little. “But yeah, I guess boys like me. They’re stupid though.” She sighed. “I don’t think I want to date until college. High school boys are too immature.” 

“That sounds like a good plan,” Dahyun agreed, nodding a little. 

Her parents had entirely forbidden her from hanging out with boys, but she didn’t exactly hate that rule. It would give her an excuse if a guy ever asked her out, and it wouldn’t even be a lie. For a long time she had thought she was a late bloomer, and then she wondered if she maybe just didn’t like anyone. She had a hard time connecting with people, even on a friend level, always feeling slightly misunderstood or like she was different from everyone else. So she’d resolved herself to the fact she wasn’t cut out for dating anyone, that she probably didn’t want to anyways - except it was always girls she’d daydream of, no matter how hard she tried not to. But Nayeon wouldn’t understand that, she was sure of it. 

They left shortly after that, Nayeon ending up buying the comic for Dahyun with a victorious grin on her face, Dahyun laughing and playfully rolling her eyes as they headed out to the car. She clutched her new comic in her hands as Nayeon drove, flipping through the pages and just feeling an overwhelming flood of joy coursing through her, happiness like this typically only found in her comics or other things of the sort, but now Nayeon is part of it too, making her even happier. Dahyun forgot they were getting lunch too until Nayeon pulled up to a small, local diner, practically skipping out of the car and after Nayeon to the door. 

“Sometimes we come here after church,” Dahyun said as they sat down in their booth, flicking through the menus. 

“Oh yeah?” Nayeon placed her chin in her hand, studying Dahyun across the table. “I don’t know if this is a weird or even offensive question - do you like going to church?” Dahyun’s shock must have shown on her face, because Nayeon rambled on, “Like, cause of everything I couldn’t imagine it’s like a fun, happy place, I don’t know I’m sorry that’s a dumb question.” 

“No it’s not,” Dahyun hurriedly assured her. “I just don’t really know the answer.” Her leg started bouncing under the table anxiously, hands wringing. “I believe in God, I pray every night, I read the Bible. But sometimes I dread going to church. Not because I don’t love God, but because the people there are so...malicious sometimes. They use the Bible to justify being horrible, and I don’t think that’s what God would want. He wants us to love each other.” 

“I didn’t realize you were actually really that religious,” Nayeon said, smiling again. “But I like that thought, that God wants us to love each other.” 

“Are you not religious?” Dahyun asked curiously. “I’m not gonna like try to convert you or something, I don’t do that.” 

“I know,” Nayeon laughed. “I don’t really know where I stand with religion. My family isn’t hugely religious, I mean we go to church on Christmas and Easter, that’s about it.” She tilted her head to the side, like she was thinking then. “I guess if God was real he wouldn’t like me much, so I try not to think about it at all.” 

“Don’t say that,” Dahyun frowned deeply. “He would like you just fine.” 

“I’m a bitch, I drink, I party, and I do stupid shit,” Nayeon laughed. “Not exactly the picture of religious perfection. But you, I’m sure you’ll go to Heaven.” 

They fell silent for a little bit after that, their food coming and quietness settling over them as they started eating. Dahyun peered at the chocolate milkshake in the center of the table, something Nayeon insisted they should split. She would ask as a child to order stuff like that, but she was never allowed, her father’s stance on sweets always clear - it would spoil her too much. 

“Are your parents gone for the whole weekend?” Nayeon asked suddenly. 

“Yeah, they’ll be back tomorrow night I think,” Dahyun answered, picking at her food, forever embarrassed about eating in front of other people. 

“Is your food not good?” Nayeon looked worried, seeing how Dahyun was barely eating. “I can say something if you-” 

“No, no, i-it’s not that,” Dahyun’s hand fluttered nervously at her side no matter how hard she tried to stop it. “I just um, I don’t like eating a-around other people I guess.” 

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Nayeon averted her gaze. “I’ll quit staring at you.” 

“No, I mean…” Dahyun could feel anxiety rising, making her tense up. “I don’t know. It’s dumb.” 

“It’s not dumb,” Nayeon argued. “Don’t downplay your feelings like that.” She sighed, took a forkful of her food and ate it. “Does it make it easier if we talk?” 

“Maybe,” Dahyun nodded, legs swinging under the table. 

“How did midterms go for you?” Nayeon melted so easily into a casual conversation, something Dahyun so desperately wished she could do. 

“Good, I think,” Dahyun found herself relaxing a little. “They were all so long.” 

“Oh god yeah, the Chemistry one sucked,” Nayeon laughed. “But you helped me a lot, I would’ve failed it if you hadn’t tutored me.” She reached and fiddled with her straw in the milkshake for a second. “Thank you again for that, by the way.” 

“I liked it,” Dahyun smiled. “I like not being at my house.” 

“Well you’re always welcome at mine,” Nayeon assured her, lips turning up in a bright grin. 

As they kept talking, Dahyun realized she had managed to actually eat most of her plate of food, no longer embarrassed now that Nayeon had distracted her with conversation. It was hard for her to find food she even liked to eat, but she had enjoyed her food for once, and Nayeon looked almost proud of her. 

She leaned eagerly to take a sip of the milkshake, Nayeon happening to lean at the same time, both of their eyes going wide as their noses brushed while they both took a sip from their respective straws. Dahyun’s cheeks went red, eyes falling in embarrassment until she could pull back.

“That was romantic,” Nayeon joked, eyes closing as she giggled.

“Sorry about that,” Dahyun laughed awkwardly. “I didn’t realize we were both leaning in.” 

“No big deal,” Nayeon reached and took her hand. “It was kind of cute. Sharing a milkshake is really cliche.” 

Even after they paid and left, riding back to Dahyun’s house with the windows down to enjoy the lingering warmth of the day, Dahyun couldn’t shake the weird feeling in her stomach when she and Nayeon had both leaned in like that. It was probably a fleeting moment to Nayeon, maybe something she’d even done before, but Dahyun had never shared something like that with someone. She liked it though - she liked it a lot. 

“Do you wanna come inside and hang out?” Dahyun asked as they pulled up to her house, and Nayeon’s eyes seemed to light up at the prospect. 

So they headed inside, Ari yapping at them the second they came in, bolting to jump up on Dahyun and then wiggling his way over to Nayeon for attention from her too. Dahyun smiled watching Nayeon kneel down and pat her lap for Ari to jump onto it, the puppy licking her face and making her laugh. “Hi buddy!” She cheered happily. Watching Ari so easily trust Nayeon and her intentions, however silly that may be, cemented it in Dahyun’s head Nayeon truly meant the best with being her friend. Ari was a good judge of character, he always had been - if someone came over and Ari was uncomfortable or even went as far as to growl at them, Dahyun knew to be wary. But he adored Nayeon from day one, and it made Dahyun feel like she could relax and trust Nayeon. 

“So can I take you up on the offer to watch a Marvel movie?” Dahyun asked with a giggle as they headed up the stairs, Nayeon laughing warmly. 

“Sure, whichever one you want,” Nayeon agreed easily, making Dahyun feel like her heart was soaring. 

So they settled in to watch the movie curled up on Dahyun’s bed, chatting softly too, starting out as Dahyun explained the premise of the movie she had picked - she had gone with the first Avengers because it seemed like an easy starting place. Nayeon was curious, listening to every word Dahyun said delineating the plot to her, grinning as she nodded along to show she was listening and wanted to hear what Dahyun had to say. 

“I like this one,” Nayeon said, pointing to the screen. 

“Natasha?” Dahyun asked, smiling as they watched the woman on screen fighting through some guys. 

“Yeah, she seems cool,” Nayeon stretched out a little, moving closer to Dahyun and just about leaning her head on the younger girl’s shoulder. 

“She’s getting her own movie soon,” Dahyun said, enjoying being able to smell Nayeon’s sweet perfume now they’re this close. “We should go see it when it’s out.” 

“Oh yeah!” Nayeon sounded so genuinely excited it made Dahyun almost tremble, but in a good way. “Wait, this is a make or break friendship question - what snacks do you get at the movies?” 

Dahyun laughed a little, turning and facing Nayeon, their faces close as they laid side by side. “Um, I don’t actually go to the movies that often, but probably something chocolate.” 

“Okay fair,” Nayeon nodded, eyes smiling with her mouth. “Whenever I go with Mina and Sana they never want to split a popcorn with me, it’s kind of depressing actually.” 

“I’ll split one with you if you split chocolates with me,” Dahyun offered gleefully. 

“Deal,” Nayeon beamed, reaching to lock their pinkies. “Wait wait, another question. This one is more important. Do you like pineapple on pizza?” 

“Ew, no,” Dahyun scrunched her nose in disgust. 

“Oh no, deal breaker,” Nayeon gasped. “How can you not like pineapple on pizza?” 

“You are the weird one, that's gross!” Dahyun teases. “The texture combination is horrible.” 

Nayeon narrowed her eyes playfully. “I don’t know if this friendship is gonna work.” Dahyun shook her head as she laughed, stomach hurting from how much she’s been giggling. “You know I’m kidding right?” 

“Yeah I know,” Dahyun reached to bump Nayeon’s arm teasingly. “If we ever order pizza you can get pineapple on your half and I won’t make fun of you. Too much.” 

“Meanie,” Nayeon joked in a light tone, reaching to poke at Dahyun’s side. “You’re a really fun person to be around.” It seemed so out of the blue it startled Dahyun, but she was touched nonetheless. 

“I’ve never been told that before,” Dahyun said with a sigh, realizing how close she and Nayeon were then, foreheads practically pressed together. “Usually people find me intolerable.” 

“Well they suck,” Nayeon countered in a whisper. “You’re so unique. There’s absolutely nobody else like you in the world.” 

“Isn’t that a bad thing?” 

“Not with you. You’re special.” 

Special. Dahyun had never felt special in a good way, only ever having heard that word like an insult, a snide remark from her father like ‘Well don’t you think you’re special’ or a teacher saying in a hushed tone they thought she couldn’t hear ‘She’s just...special’ with a certain sort of distaste on the word. But Nayeon said it like she was the kind of special that meant something, like a shooting star you could only see once every few years. 

“Can I confess something to you?” Nayeon asked suddenly, looking almost nervous, and it made Dahyun’s breath catch.

“Always,” Dahyun murmured, forcing her eyes up to Nayeon’s to try and show she was listening, heart thrumming in her chest as she fought the urge to look away. She wanted Nayeon to know without any doubt she was paying total attention. 

“You know that lunch you found in your locker?” Nayeon whispered, Dahyun giving an almost imperceptible nod. “I snuck it into your locker.” 

“You did?” Dahyun couldn’t even believe it. That was so far before Nayeon had even given her a smidge of kindness, hell the day she’d found it Nayeon had been nasty to her in Chemistry. It just didn’t make sense. 

“Yeah, I…” Nayeon swallowed hard, like she was embarrassed and unsure of how Dahyun would feel. “I felt so guilty every time I was so mean to you, I know it might not seem like it but I really did, I hate how I let myself be like that and I hated it then too, I just...I didn’t know how to stop. I was jealous of you, well - I am jealous of you.” 

“You’re jealous of me?” Dahyun asked incredulously, eyes wide. 

“You’re so smart and kind without even trying, and you’re so...you,” Nayeon explained easily. “I’ve always just blended in with the crowd, done what everyone else was doing. You go against the grain, and that’s so admirable but I just felt...I don’t know. I don’t deal with my feelings well, and I was just taking it out on you. But I felt so bad seeing you not having lunches and, and I thought you might have like an eating problem, I don’t know, so I-I left the lunch and um, yeah.” 

“I like you like this,” Dahyun said in a soft, fond tone. “You’re not trying, you’re just being you, even if it’s rambling and stammery and a little vulnerable.” 

“I don’t like being vulnerable,” Nayeon admitted quietly. “But with you it’s different.” 

“You can always be vulnerable in front of me,” Dahyun assured her, moving so their foreheads were truly pressing together, noses almost brushing. “That’s what friends are for, right?” 

Nayeon smiled, tears glistening in her eyes then, and Dahyun just felt her heart melting for the girl across from her. 

“Will you stay tonight?” Dahyun blurted out, making Nayeon laugh even through her tears. 

“Like a sleepover?” Nayeon asked in a bright voice, eyes glimmering now with joy. 

“Yeah,” Dahyun giggled. “I’ve never had one before.” 

Nayeon gasped, “You’ve never had a sleepover?” 

“No, I wasn’t really allowed to, and I didn’t have friends anyways, so,” Dahyun shrugged. “There’s a lot of stuff I’ve never done.”

“Well let’s make a bucket list, and we can do all of it together,” Nayeon suggested. “First thing, sleepover. And that means I’m doing your nails or something.” 

Dahyun thought she would agree to just about anything if it meant life could be like this all the time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @bbygirldahyun on tumblr and @bbygiridahyun on twitter


	9. Chapter Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello everyone! thank you for being so patient waiting for this, i truly do appreciate it. I hope you enjoy!
> 
> content warning for discussion of bullying and the like, as i usually say y'all know the drill for this story now

Dahyun roused abruptly to the sound of her phone ringing under her pillow. She jolted awake, her right arm totally asleep, eyes fluttering open to find it was stuck under Nayeon. The night before they had bickered about who would sleep on the floor, since Dahyun only has a twin bed, but eventually they’d caved and decided to just share the bed. They’d fallen asleep facing away from each other, but it seemed at some point in the night they had rolled closer, Nayeon’s head nearly on Dahyun’s chest now.

She fumbled for her phone with her free hand, heart sinking when she saw it was her father calling, clearing her throat as she picked the call up with a hoarse, “Hello?”

“You didn’t go to church today?” Is the first thing she heard back, wincing as she remembered today was Sunday. 

“I thought since a lot of the church was gone on that trip…” Dahyun trailed off, chewing on her bottom lip as she tried to not sound like she was lying. Like the girl her father forbade her from being friends with wasn’t in her bed.

“Hm,” Her father muttered. “Well I at least expect the house to be clean, since you had all this extra time.” 

“Okay,” Dahyun agreed instantly, panicking more now, seeing Nayeon starting to wake up. “I’ll go finish up cleaning, see you when you get home.” She hung up the call quickly, hand jerking at her side in anxiety, feeling like her throat was closing. 

“Is something wrong?” Nayeon asked sleepily, sitting up and stretching as she yawned.

“I forgot about church,” Dahyun mumbled, hand movements becoming more pronounced, feeling embarrassed that Nayeon was seeing her so anxious. She tried her best to keep herself still but it was nearly impossible sometimes, like she couldn’t help it. 

“Is he on his way home?” Nayeon pressed, frowning when Dahyun nodded, assuming so. “I’ll get ready quick and head out, don’t worry about it.” 

“I’m sorry,” Dahyun whispered. She felt Nayeon reaching to take her hands, stilling the jerky movements, Dahyun sighing long and heavy. 

“It’s okay, I just want you to stay safe,” Nayeon promised with a reassuring smile. “I’ll see you at school tomorrow anyways.” 

“Yeah,” Dahyun nodded, slipping out of the bed, Nayeon following her. “Thank you for giving me my first sleepover.” 

“It was an honor,” Nayeon said with a beaming smile, quickly packing her bag up and slinging it over her shoulder. “We’ll do it again sometime, at my house instead.” 

“Sounds great,” Dahyun grinned, the overwhelming urge to hug Nayeon coming over her, and she just couldn’t resist. It seemed to take Nayeon by surprise, but she hugged back tightly, Dahyun relaxing in the tight pressure of the embrace. 

Nayeon left quickly after that, honking the horn twice before driving away, Dahyun watching her drive off from the porch with Ari scooped up in her arms, chuckling at him barking like crazy until Nayeon’s car was out of sight. She hurried back inside to get dressed and quickly tidy the house, thankful she didn’t leave much of a mess throughout the weekend. She had just finished taking the trash out when she heard her father’s car pulling into the driveway, instinctually tensing up. She was never sure what was better to do - greet him at the door or just stay on the couch until he addressed her. Both options seemed to make him angry depending on the day.

Ari leapt off her lap the second her family was in the door, but not to greet them, instead seating himself at her feet with his ears perked, as if it let them know he was protecting her. “How was the trip?” Dahyun called softly, tucking her hands under her legs so they wouldn’t be able to flap around and piss her dad off.

“Boring,” Her younger brother replied, coming running into the living room to plop down on the couch beside her. “I wish I stayed here with you instead.” 

She smiled, looking at her brother, shaking her head a little as she laughed. He was the only member of her family who liked her more than tolerance, and she felt bad sometimes she held a bit of resentment for him. Even only being in sixth grade, he had far surpassed all of her bad qualities, able to do everything she couldn’t. He had lots of friends, he was adventurous, he spoke without stammering and didn’t struggle with simple stuff like eye contact or misunderstanding people’s jokes.

But she couldn’t hate him, not when he loved her so much. He would go to her for homework help, listened to her ramble for hours about the things she liked, and as he’d gotten older he tried to take some of the burden of punishment off of her. She couldn’t let him do that though, she’d spent too many years lying to save him; anything spilled or broken by him she took the fall for, and the punishment, and given it was entirely believable due to how clumsy she was even the times he tried to protest it got her in more trouble for ‘convincing him to lie for her’. 

“You can’t offer to help carry the bags in?” Dahyun heard her father’s voice, sharp and cutting, making her grimace. 

“Sorry, I wasn’t thinking,” She murmured, hopping up off the couch to head into the garage and help her mom. 

“You’re never thinking,” Her father shouted after her. “You are sixteen years old you should know to be helpful for once!”

Dahyun kept her head down, trying to ignore the tears pricking in her eyes. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to help, she just didn’t realize they needed it; how is she supposed to know they need help if they don’t ask? She’d found herself asking questions like that her whole life, how do people just know to do these things? How do people come with all this knowledge she’s missing out on about how to navigate the world and not piss everyone off?

“Here, just take these small ones,” Her mom said softly, like she was trying to make it easier on Dahyun. She took the bags wordlessly and headed back inside, setting them with the other bags in the laundry room, about to turn and run up the stairs when her brother stopped her. 

“Hey, do you wanna see the project I’m working on?” He asked in a quiet voice, Dahyun turning around even as she had one foot on the bottom step. 

“Sure,” She said in a hoarse whisper, still holding back tears. She wasn’t in the mood to see whatever this project is, but she knew all too well the feeling of being ignored, of nobody ever being proud of her, and she didn’t want her brother to feel that way. So she allowed him to lead the way up the stairs and down the hall to his room, shutting the door behind her as he ran over to his desk to pick the poster board up.

“We had to do a presentation on who our hero is,” He explained, settling the board so it would stay standing up. “And I did mine on you.” 

Dahyun examined the poster board carefully, tears coming down her cheeks as she read what he had written right in the middle: “My big sister is my hero because she’s the smartest and strongest person I know. God says we all have a guardian angel and she’s mine.” All over the rest of the board are pictures of them together, from the first picture of Dahyun holding him as a baby in the hospital when she was six to last year on Christmas, them on either side of their Grandma after Christmas dinner.

“This is really sweet,” She whispered, trying to wipe her tears off her face.

“You are my hero, Dahyun,” He said earnestly, walking over to hug her. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.” She hugged him back tight, appreciating this however rare moment of feeling like she belonged with someone in her family. 

~

“Can I sit here?” 

An unfamiliar voice brought Dahyun slamming back to reality, having been lost in a daydream about comics, forcing her eyes up to a face she didn’t recognize looking down at her. The girl looked somehow even shorter than Dahyun, hair dark and styled in an undercut, wearing a jean jacket with patches all over it. 

“Huh?” Dahyun said, feeling stupid, not processing what the girl said the first time. 

“Can I sit here?” She repeated patiently, lunch tray in hand.

“You don’t want to,” Dahyun laughed nervously. “Everyone hates me.” 

“Well I don’t,” The girl said easily, sounding so confident it made Dahyun almost envious. “But if you want to sit alone, I understand.” 

“No, no...you can sit here,” Dahyun murmured, watching the girl settle in the seat across from her, placing a sketchbook on the table that was under the lunch tray, picking at her food. “Are you new?” Dahyun blurted out, never sure how to start small talk. Nayeon knew, she always knew what to say, and Dahyun found herself longing for the ease of Nayeon’s conversation then.

“Yeah, my family just moved into the area,” She answered pleasantly. “I’m Chaeyoung.” 

“Dahyun,” Her voice was shaky as she spoke, studying Chaeyoung intently. She looked so different than anyone Dahyun had ever met, like she didn’t care what anyone thought, like she was fully and wholly herself. Dahyun couldn’t help thinking Chaeyoung was the kind of person her father would never allow her near. 

“I didn’t know where to sit and you seemed approachable,” Chaeyoung laughed softly. “And I felt kind of bad you were by yourself.” 

“I’m used to it,” Dahyun said softly, trying her best to maintain eye contact but instead finding herself looking at the septum ring in Chaeyoung’s nose instead. “Did that hurt?” She asked suddenly, internally cringing as she realized she shouldn’t be so forward.

“This?” Chaeyoung’s hand fluttered up to her nose, Dahyun nodding. “Actually not really! It was a tiny pinch and then it was over.” 

“It looks cool,” Dahyun smiled nervously. “I’d never be able to get anything like that.”

“I think you’d look good with a nose stud here,” Chaeyoung gestured to the side of her nose. “Subtle, but it would compliment your face.” 

Dahyun grinned truly then. “Thank you,” She said, feeling oddly comfortable with this new girl. “Do you draw?” 

“Oh yeah, I love art stuff,” Chaeyoung lit up at the question. “Do you wanna see the project I just finished?” Dahyun nodded eagerly, prompting Chaeyoung to flip her sketchbook open to a painting of a sunset entirely in shades of pink and orange. “This was my first time trying oil paints, I really like how it turned out.” 

“It looks incredible,” Dahyun told her earnestly, liking how the compliment made Chaeyoung smile. 

The happiness of the moment diminished, however, when Dahyun heard a loud remark from someone across the room saying, “Someone finally took pity on her, look!” 

Cheeks burning in shame, Dahyun ducked her head a little, feeling so embarrassed this was happening in front of someone she had sort of convinced to like her. It seemed no matter what something would ruin any attempt she made at friendship, the only person willing to be her friend Nayeon and even that Dahyun couldn’t enjoy because it had to be so secretive. 

“Don’t let them get to you,” Chaeyoung’s voice hit Dahyun’s ears, making her peek up a little to see Chaeyoung didn’t go anywhere. “They’re stupid.” 

“They do this all the time,” Dahyun whispered, throat tight as she tried to hold off crying, keeping her hands stiff in her lap, focusing on not giving them more material for bullying by shaking them. 

“You should report them,” Chaeyoung said firmly. “Tell the counselor or something.” 

Dahyun didn’t say anything, instead glancing across the room to see Nayeon’s eyes fixed right on her, feeling guilty in a way about always pulling Nayeon’s focus from her friends, for making Nayeon worry about her. Silent words passed between them, Dahyun knowing without Nayeon having to say anything that she felt bad someone from her table would say something like that, Dahyun trying to not look so hurt so as to reassure Nayeon it was fine, not her fault. 

“Quit staring at her like that,” Dahyun watched Sana lean over and say, clearly louder than she intended to be. 

“Who is that?” Chaeyoung asked Dahyun softly, eyes narrowed as she glanced in Nayeon’s direction. 

“Which one?” Dahyun muttered. 

“The one staring at you,” Chaeyoung clarified, disdain evident in her voice, making Dahyun’s stomach lurch. She hated this, she didn’t have a plan or a script for how to deal with this, never having imagined anyone asking her about Nayeon in this way. 

“Her name is Nayeon,” Dahyun finally managed to choke out. “She’s the head cheerleader, really popular, uh...that whole group doesn’t like me.” She tried to be vague enough she didn’t incriminate Nayeon for things she wasn’t doing anymore, Dahyun forever trying to forget how things used to be. “Her friends are Mina and Sana.” 

“They’re mean to you?” Chaeyoung pressed further, and Dahyun could only shrug, too overwhelmed to come up with a real response, head spinning, knowing she couldn’t explain the weird friendship she and Nayeon had but not wanting to make it sound like she was horrible, because she wasn’t, at least not anymore. “You don’t deserve that.” 

“You don’t even know me,” Dahyun chuckled nervously, always her habit, too used to laughing off her discomfort. 

“I know you don’t deserve to be treated badly,” Chaeyoung insisted. “Nobody does.” 

“You’re really nice,” Dahyun said quietly, forcing her eyes to Chaeyoung’s, finding a sort of fondness for this girl swelling in her chest. “Thank you.”

Chaeyoung just smiled back at her, a friendly smile Dahyun found comforting. 

~

Dahyun had totally forgotten about the weird conversation at lunch as the rest of her day went on, worried about other things, namely the fact she realized she had to take a speech class next semester to be able to graduate. Her mind was stuck on worries about that, already trying to plan out every possible bad outcome that could come from having to speak in front of the class, when she heard a voice calling her name from behind her. 

“Dahyun?” She turned around, heart racing as she realized it was Jihyo, someone she’d never spoken to before. She seemed to know everyone in the whole school, but Dahyun figured that must be in her job description as student council president. “The counselor wants to talk to you.” 

Her stomach drops, anxiety washing over her and making her feel a bit sick. “Me?” She squeaks out. “I didn’t...I don’t do anything,” She tried to protest weakly, the sheer idea she could be in trouble for something making her want to just disappear. 

“You’re not in trouble,” Jihyo assured her, waving for Dahyun to follow her. Dahyun fell in step beside the girl, admiring her polished looking outfit of a short pencil skirt and a pretty white blouse, hair loose and curled slightly. “She just wants to talk.” 

Talk. Dahyun mulled that over, wringing her hands as they walked down the corridors, that prospect not doing much to lessen her anxiety. She had been called to talk to the school counselor before, mostly in middle school, before she had really mastered how to pretend to be like everyone else. They expressed all sorts of concerns for her and her ‘odd’ behavior as they labelled it, but no matter how many times they sent a recommendation home that her family had her evaluated by a psychologist all it earned her was punishment for not being normal, for causing problems at school. Other than that, her only other experience with a school counselor was the time she went to school limping in seventh grade and got sent home because she was very evidently in pain, too much pain to be at school, and that didn’t end well either. 

She trailed Jihyo into the waiting area of the school counselor’s office, seeing the door to the office shut with a sign that said ‘Occupied’ hanging on it. “Go ahead and sit, she’ll call you in when she’s ready,” Jihyo told her with a smile, trying to reassure her, but nothing could calm Dahyun’s nerves. 

She sat in one of the chairs, Jihyo leaving shortly after, leaving Dahyun alone with her thoughts. She swung her legs back and forth rhythmically, drumming her fingers on her leg, wanting to find something to distract her mind but unable to since she left her comics in her locker, not expecting to need them. She watched the students pass by through the glass of the office, hoping nobody looked inside and saw her, not wanting to give them yet another thing to use against her. 

She really hoped this didn’t become another conversation about all her quirks, it was quite possibly her least favorite thing to listen to people discuss. She sighed, knowing that was probably exactly what this would become, just wishing this could be over with already. She wished she could go back to the weekend, back to her sleepover with Nayeon, where they’d stayed up too late, sharing stories and chatting and Dahyun felt more normal than she’d ever felt before. Her eyes went to her hands, smiling faintly as she saw her nails, painted courtesy of Nayeon in a shade of yellow the older girl had insisted would look great on her. 

Dahyun startled as the door to the waiting area opened, Jihyo entering again this time trailed by a girl Dahyun sort of recognized, not sure of her name. But Dahyun knew her the more she looked at her, her blue hair, ripped jeans, and leather jacket ringing a bell in Dahyun’s mind that she was the one always getting in trouble for being disruptive. 

“Why do you even bother making me come down here anymore?” She laughed as Jihyo directed her to the seat beside Dahyun. “You know you can just hand me the detention, right?”

“I can’t write the detention for you, Momo, even though I wish I could,” Jihyo sighed. “They want you to stop acting out.” 

“Good luck with that, sweetheart,” Momo told Jihyo with a little smirk on her lips, making Jihyo roll her eyes and walk off without another word, leaving Momo to just take her seat beside Dahyun, pulling one Doc Marten clad foot up to rest on the seat, propping her chin up in her hand with her elbow resting on her knee. “How did you end up down here?” Momo asked, shooting Dahyun a glance, making her tense up a little. She’d never spoken to Momo before, she wasn’t even quite sure who Momo hung out with, but Dahyun had come to assume people didn’t like her no matter what. 

“I don’t know,” Dahyun said softly. “I’ve never been here before.” 

“It’s lame,” Momo chuckled, rolling her eyes a little. “The counselor just tries to convince you to tell her your whole life story so she can come up with some reason you did whatever you did and then she hands you a detention and says ‘Don’t do it again’.” 

Dahyun laughed a little anxiously, swallowing back her nerves. “Jihyo said I didn’t do anything, but...I don’t know.” 

“Ah, well Jihyo wouldn’t lie about it,” Momo sighed. “She takes too much pride in getting people in trouble.” 

Before Dahyun could respond, the counselor’s door opened and she peeked around the corner, asking, “Dahyun? Can I chat with you for a second?” Too nervous to speak, Dahyun nodded, trailing the counselor inside and letting the door fall shut behind her. She took a seat across the desk from the counselor, trying to think what expression to have so this is as painless as possible. Should she be impassive? Should she smile? She can’t decide, too busy stuck trying to figure it out to realize the counselor was speaking. “Wait what? I’m sorry,” She murmured, voice trembling. 

“I said that I just want to ask you a few questions about something,” The counselor clarified, pen poised over a notepad. “Have you ever been bullied by any of your peers here?” 

The question just took Dahyun’s breath away, totally speechless and unsure what to say. “I...What counts as bullying?” She asked in a strained voice, moving her hands to tuck them under her legs as she always tried to do around adults, knowing most people hate when she moved them like she did. 

“Have you ever been called names, degraded, physically harassed, or targeted by one of your peers?” The counselor extended her first question, and Dahyun just sighed. 

She knew the answer was yes, of course it was; since the first day she set foot into a school building she had been treated terribly by her peers. In elementary school, she played too weird, she spoke out of turn, she either spoke too loud or too soft, and she didn’t make friends easily. In middle school she had too weird of interests, she liked things too much, she couldn’t socialize the way everyone else did, she spoke funny and moved funny. And now, no matter how much she tried to fix everything she’d been targeted for, she couldn’t fix it all, like all these things were permanent flaws ingrained in her she couldn’t shed herself of if she tried. 

“I guess so,” She finally said, eyes fixed on the desk instead of the counselor’s face. Vague is better, she thought. It was like being questioned by her dad - keep answers vague and gear them to what the other person wanted to hear. “Hasn’t everyone?”

“Can you detail to me the incidents of bullying?” 

Dahyun grimaced, not wanting to relive all of that, not wanting to have to picture Nayeon in that light again. How could she incriminate Nayeon now, when she knew how wonderful Nayeeon could be? She would never do that to the older girl, not in a million years. 

“Kids are just mean sometimes, I don’t know,” Dahyun mumbled, bouncing her leg anxiously. “It’s not a big deal.” 

“Bullying is a very big deal, Dahyun,” The counselor went on in a firm tone, Dahyun instantly stiffening on instinct, tensing like she was waiting for something more. “We have a zero tolerance policy for bullying here.” Dahyun could almost laugh, thinking of how many times she’d been shamed, degraded, and harassed in front of teachers and they didn’t do a single thing. “Another student came to me concerned about how you were being treated by one student in particular, Im Nayeon.” 

Dahyun paled hearing Nayeon’s name, just wanting to get up and leave, her stomach churning nervously and everything feeling like too much. She couldn’t force up a response, feeling too panicky to even speak, but she had to, painfully forcing out, “Nayeon doesn’t do anything to me.” 

“Are you afraid of repercussions from her if you’re honest? Is that it?” The counselor pressed on, Dahyun just feeling so weighed down by everything, the whole conversation making her just want to scream, balling her hands up into fists, digging her nails into her skin to keep from hitting her leg. 

“No, that’s not it, it’s complicated, I…” Dahyun felt so inept, like her words were stupid and useless, guilt at not defending Nayeon overcoming her too, wanting to cry. How could she not defend Nayeon’s name after everything Nayeon had done for her? She felt like a horrible person, shaking all over, stammering out incoherent half sentences as words became harder, verbalizing her thoughts impossible. 

“Okay, Dahyun, you can go,” The counselor clearly felt pity, allowing her to leave before she embarrassed herself further, the second she left the room tears came streaming down her cheeks, stepping into the hallway and instantly feeling worse as all the noise hit her at once, making her shudder. 

“Hey, are you okay?” Chaeyoung’s voice came over her, an arm wrapped around her shoulder protectively. Dahyun couldn’t speak, knowing if she tried it would come out wrong, so she tried to gesture to her mouth to tell Chaeyoung words were not an option right then. “Okay, okay, you don’t have to tell me.” She turned to pull Dahyun into a tight hug. “This okay?” Dahyun nodded against her shoulder, the pressure from the hug a big help to settle her nerves. 

Dahyun sighed, peeking over Chaeyoung’s shoulder to see Nayeon down the hallway, staring right at them with an odd expression on her face, like there was a bitter taste in her mouth or something, and it made a knot form in Dahyun’s stomach. She hated to admit it, but her conversation with the counselor had dredged up a lot of bad memories of Nayeon, despite all of the good memories they have made recently. She clutches tighter to Chaeyoung, grateful for this almost stranger’s hug, watching with worry as Nayeon turned away from her to start talking to Sana and Mina. 

~

Even by the time Dahyun got home, happy to be alone in her room finally after an exhausting day, she couldn’t shake the way Nayeon had looked at her and Chaeyoung in the hallway. Why did she look so...pissed? Dahyun had never been good at reading people, so maybe she was assuming wrong. She hated to think of Nayeon being mad at her, especially after they had such a nice weekend together. 

It was a massive relief when Dahyun’s phone lit up with a FaceTime call from Nayeon, eagerly picking it up to see Nayeon clearly lying on her bed. “Hey,” The older girl said, looking like she was deep in thought about something.

“Hey, is everything okay?” Dahyun asked worriedly. 

Nayeon sighed, eyes falling. “You were upset earlier,” She finally said. 

“Yeah, uh...the counselor wanted to talk to me,” Dahyun explained softly, not wanting her brother down the hallway to hear. “Someone went and told her stuff.” 

“What kind of stuff?” Nayeon asked in a pained tone. 

Dahyun cringed, not wanting to tell Nayeon what they talked about, still feeling the effects of how upset she was. But she knew Nayeon deserved to hear the truth. “Someone told her you bullied me and she wanted to...she wanted me to confirm it.” 

“Did you?” Nayeon didn’t sound as upset as Dahyun thought she would. 

“Of course not,” Dahyun said instantly. “I told her you don’t do anything.” 

“You lied?” She sounded surprised, and Dahyun couldn’t understand what she meant by that. Clearly her confusion must have shown on her face, because Nayeon went on, “You told her I didn’t do anything, but I did. I did a lot of stuff to you, and it’s not fair that I just got away with it.”   
“But you’re different, Nay...you’re not like that anymore,” Dahyun whispered, feeling pained knowing now how much the guilt was eating at Nayeon. “You’re my friend, I would never get you in trouble like that. The whole thing really just shook me up, I don’t know. I don’t like being questioned like that.” 

“I’m really sorry I didn’t go comfort you,” Nayeon murmured. “I saw you upset, I...I knew you were struggling and I just let my feelings get the best of me, I don’t know.” 

“Your feelings?” Dahyun questioned, confused, never good at deciphering hidden meanings. 

“Who was that girl? The one who ate lunch with you and...and was hugging you in the hallway,” Nayeon’s voice sounded reserved, like she wasn’t saying everything.

“She’s new, her name is Chaeyoung,” Dahyun explained hesitantly. “I think she wants to be my friend.” 

Nayeon sighed heavily. “I’m happy for you, I promise. I guess I was just a little jealous, that’s all.” 

“Jealous?” 

“Yeah, I mean...I like being the one you rely on.”

Dahyun felt her heart warming, smiling a little then, all of the harshness of the day fading away. “You’ll always be my best friend, Nayeonie. I promise.” 

“You’re too nice for your own good,” Nayeon chuckled. “But you’re my best friend too.” 

“Really?” Dahyun grinned, giggling happily when she saw Nayeon nod. “Aw, I’m honored.” 

“Are you feeling better?” Nayeon asked suddenly. 

“I always do when I talk to you,” Dahyun said, sincerely meaning it with everything in her. 

Even as their conversation moved on to other things, Dahyun could tell there was something Nayeon wasn’t saying, seeming far away even as they spoke. She didn’t press, never wanting to pressure Nayeon, but she did wonder what about Chaeyoung had shaken Nayeon up so much. How could Nayeon not know she was basically Dahyun’s whole world?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @bbygirldahyun on tumblr and @bbygiridahyun on twitter


	10. Chapter Ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hhh i'm sorry if this chapter feels a bit choppy, i hope it's still enjoyable!
> 
> content warning for hints at bullying, abuse, the usual stuff. brief mentions of smoking and alcohol as well.

Dahyun had grown used to Chaeyoung’s presence at her lunch table, in all honesty surprised Chaeyoung would stick around. The more days they spent eating together, the more Dahyun came to learn about Chaeyoung, and she had to admit she was quite fascinated with her new friend and how unique she is. Dahyun had spent her whole life working hard to blend in, but Chaeyoung seemed to do everything she could to stand out. Dahyun came to learn that only Chaeyoung’s mom was in the picture, and she was incredibly encouraging of all of Chaeyoung’s artistic nature and her quirkiness. 

She’d never heard someone have a parent who not only accepted them as they are but embraced them, and Dahyun felt equal parts jealous and happy that Chaeyoung got to have that sort of relationship with her mom. 

“What’s your family like?” Chaeyoung asked one day over lunch after a lengthy story rambling about how she and her mom liked to take road trips during the summer for vacation. 

Dahyun swallowed hard, paling at the question. She never knew how to come up with a decent lie for this, always getting stuck on her words, mind moving faster than she could speak. “My dad works for a ministry group and my mom is a nurse.” She sighed a little. “I have a younger brother in sixth grade.” 

“Oh that’s cool,” Chaeyoung grinned, fingers running through the longer bit of hair on the top of her head then sliding down over the stubble of her undercut. Dahyun was entirely enamored with Chaeyoung’s hair style, she’d never seen anything like it before. “Do you guys get along?” 

“Yeah, he’s...he’s really cool,” Dahyun smiled, thinking of the presentation he’d shown her. In the weeks since he’d told her how presenting it went, and apparently he was the only one in his class who didn’t pick a parent as their hero. 

Their conversation came to a halt suddenly, both of them sensing someone approaching their table, exchanging a glance before looking to see Momo loitering by the edge of their table. “Can I sit here?” She asked in a plain sort of tone, like she couldn’t really be bothered one way or the other. 

Before Dahyun could even totally process what Momo had said, Chaeyoung was giving her a friendly smile, pulling the chair out next to her and saying, “Sure!” 

Momo sat down with a huff, no food in front of her, a hand running through her blue hair and adjusting her bangs. 

“I didn’t even know you had lunch this period,” Dahyun said with a little laugh, nerves clawing their up her throat as she tried to swallow them down. 

“Oh I never come to lunch,” Momo sighed, eyes roaming to a table across the lunch room. “I usually go smoke in the courtyard, but miss goody two shoes has it out for me.” Dahyun and Chaeyoung follow her line of sight, spotting Jihyo at a table with Jeongyeon, chattering away to one another, not realizing they have eyes on them. 

“Who is she?” Chaeyoung whispered lightheartedly. Momo gave her a look with her eyebrow quirked, and Dahyun understood why - everyone knows Jihyo. “I’m new,” Chaeyoung clarified. 

“Ah,” Momo nodded. “She’s student council president, Jihyo. And her friend, Jeongyeon, is captain of the volleyball. She’s insufferable.” Dahyun averted her gaze, not liking where this kind of talk was going. She didn’t want to get caught up in gossipping, it would only make her life worse. 

“She’s staring at you again,” Chaeyoung said suddenly, reaching across the table and getting Dahyun’s attention by tapping her arm, making her jump and yank her arms away. 

“Who?” She whispered. 

“The mean one, Nayeon,” Chaeyoung muttered, Dahyun holding her breath so as not to blurt out her thoughts, racing in her mind, looking over to see Nayeon staring at her as she’d so often been doing lately, Dahyun fighting the discomfort as their eyes met. She didn’t want to have to look away all the time, she’d been waiting for that discomfort with eye contact to go away and it never had, and she thought perhaps it might never fade totally no matter how comfortable she gets with Nayeon. 

“She doesn’t even talk to me anymore,” Dahyun managed around the dryness in her mouth, stomach churning. 

“She’s just a bitch,” Momo chimed in. “Her and her two little minions. I can’t believe she even has any friends anymore the way she acts.” 

“Stop,” Dahyun whispered, knowing she shouldn’t have but she couldn’t stop the word, not able to stand the way Momo was talking, the disdainful tone to Chaeyoung’s voice. Dahyun wanted to find all the words to tell them how good Nayeon was, how she didn’t just use Mina and Sana she cherished them, and she cherished Dahyun too. 

“Did you tell the counselor what she does?” Chaeyoung pressed, hesitating almost, given how Dahyun had reacted to being questioned. 

“She doesn’t do anything,” Dahyun insisted. “She ignores me, and that’s fine.” 

Almost as if Dahyun had jinxed herself, Nayeon suddenly stood and came striding over to their table, Mina and Sana calling after her asking what she was doing, but she didn’t pay that mind, making a beeline right for Dahyun, making her tense a little in anticipation. 

“Come with me, now,” Nayeon said, skipping any sort of greeting or politeness, a cold edge to her tone. 

Dahyun stood up instantly, Momo behind her going, “You don’t have to listen to her.” But Dahyun ignored it, letting Nayeon lead her out of the cafeteria, wordlessly trailing her down the hallways until they reached the girls locker room, sneaking inside quietly. 

“What did I do?” Dahyun finally said softly, making Nayeon sigh deeply. 

“Nothing, you didn’t do anything,” She walked forward and hugged Dahyun abruptly, tipping her face down to bury it in the crown of Dahyun’s head, body relaxing when Dahyun hugged back. “I missed you.”

Dahyun smiled, then, though Nayeon couldn’t see it. “I missed you too.” 

“Did you get a new shampoo?” Nayeon asked, making Dahyun laugh at the oddness of the question. 

“Yeah, the other one’s scent bugged me,” Dahyun giggled softly, Nayeon pulling back a little so Dahyun could tuck her face in Nayeon’s neck. 

“You’re perfect for hugs, you know that?” Nayeon whispered, and Dahyun felt warmth blooming in her cheeks. She liked to hear that, thinking being perfect for anything by Nayeon’s standard was quite the feat. 

“You’re perfect to do this to,” Dahyun sighed, keeping her face in the crook of Nayeon’s neck contently. “Why did you make it sound so dire?” 

“I had to make sure nobody would follow us. If they thought I was...doing something...they wouldn’t want to get in the middle of it,” Nayeon explained quietly, Dahyun pulling back to shoot her an amused look. 

“You’re so funny,” Dahyun remarked, Nayeon looking a little embarrassed, prompting her to go on with, “Everyone probably thinks you’re bullying me in here but really you just wanted a hug.” 

“Like you’re complaining,” Nayeon teased, poking Dahyun in her sides gently. 

“Never would. Hugs are nice, especially yours,” Dahyun felt nervous as the words left her mouth, unsure why they felt like going too far but worried they would be. 

“I don’t want to go back out there,” Nayeon admitted softly, clutching tighter to Dahyun. “I wish we could just stay here all day.” 

“Me too,” Dahyun murmured. 

“Are you and Momo like...friends?” Nayeon asked, Dahyun giving her a funny look. “It’s fine if you are, just...be careful, with her. She doesn’t seem like the type of person your dad would want you to hang out with.” 

“I mean neither are you,” Dahyun laughed, but it trailed off at the end seeing how serious Nayeon looked. 

“I just want you to be safe,” Nayeon said in a pained voice. “Please stay safe.” 

“I will,” Dahyun promised. “Don’t look so worried, you’re supposed to be the fun one.” Finally, she drew a laugh from Nayeon, breathing a sigh of relaxation seeing her chuckle. 

“You’re plenty fun,” Nayeon told her. “You’re better than parties and stuff. I wish you were there at football games with me.” 

“I’ve never been to one,” Dahyun said, the bell ringing halfway through her sentence telling them their brief moment of reprieve had ended. 

“Come this Friday,” Nayeon insisted, leading her out of the locker room. “Okay?” 

“I’ll think about it,” Dahyun laughed. 

“I’ll see you there!” Nayeon called, making Dahyun shake her head as they assimilated back into the crowd, going opposite directions. 

“What was that all about?” Chaeyoung’s voice floated up behind Dahyun, the short girl falling in step next to her, clearly concerned. 

“She just wanted to talk,” Dahyun tried to stay vague, biting back her urge to overtalk. She was a chronic over explainer, always saying more than she needed to. 

“Talk? About what?” Chaeyoung laughed a little as they rounded the corner to their lockers. 

“Nothing, it was silly,” Dahyun insisted, Chaeyoung giving her a funny look. “She just asked if I was friends with Momo, I said not particularly.” 

“Weird,” Chaeyoung said decidedly. “Hey, so, are you going to the football game on Friday?” 

“I was thinking about it,” Dahyun said through a small smile. 

“Well if you wanna go together, you could come over after school Friday and we can go together,” Chaeyoung grinned as she spoke, making Dahyun’s smile grow on her face. 

“Really?” Dahyun asked, feeling her heart soaring when Chaeyoung nodded. 

“My mom wants to meet you, I’ve told her all about you,” She went on, Dahyun looking a bit startled at that. “All good things, I promise.” 

“I’d love to come,” Dahyun said earnestly. “I’ve never been to one.” 

“Oh it’s fun!” Chaeyoung beamed. “We’ll have a lot of fun.” 

“Sounds like a deal.” 

~

Dahyun absolutely dreaded having the conversation about going out on Friday with her dad. She put it off as long as she could, asking Thursday night, finding both her mother and her father in the living room after dinner, lingering in the doorway standing on the balls of her feet, trying to calm her nerves by squeezing her hands together behind her back. 

“Can I ask you guys something?” She forced words out of her mouth, feeling all wrong, hating the harsh gazes landing on her at her announcing her presence. 

“Quit standing like that you look stupid,” Her dad said, tone full of vitriol, disdain on his face as Dahyun swallowed back embarrassment, resting down flat on her feet again. 

“I’m sorry,” She whispered, not sure what else to say. She never quite understood why it mattered how she stood or walked, it didn’t affect anyone else if she walked on tip toe. But it had always irked her father, just as so much else she did. 

“What did you want to ask, Dahyun?” Her mother cut in, face passive, like she didn’t understand what her husband’s harsh words did to Dahyun, like this was normal. 

“I was wondering if I could go to the football game tomorrow with a-a friend,” She bit her cheek hard at the slight stutter in her words. 

“Who’s this friend?” Her mom pressed, her father seeming totally checked out of the conversation in his disgust. 

“She’s new to the school, her name is Chaeyoung,” Dahyun squeezed her hands together harder behind her, the pressure keeping her steady. “I wanted to make sure she felt welcome.” 

“Last time you went out you couldn’t follow your curfew,” Her dad reminded her, bitterness laced in his words. 

“It won’t happen again,” Dahyun instantly promised. She needed to get this permission, she wanted to go so bad it hurt, wanting to be a normal kid, and to get to see Nayeon cheer. “It was a mistake, I’m sorry.” 

“You should be better than mistakes,” He said, eyes boring into her, nausea rising up at the eye contact she forced herself to hold. “How many times do I have to teach you?” 

‘Teach you’. The words burned in Dahyun’s mind. She learned young what kind of teaching she required, but she never would have thought she still wouldn’t have learned by now. She felt so flawed in every way, like she was coded wrong. Sometimes she imagined God made people with something like binary coding - He must have accidentally put something other than a zero or a one in hers, she’s decided. 

“If you can follow your curfew and clean the house on Saturday, you can go,” Her mom finally said, Dahyun finally exhaling a small breath, stomach still churning in anxiousness. 

“If I catch you any kind of intoxicated…” Her dad muttered, and she didn’t have to hear the end of that sentence to know what it implied. 

“I won’t be,” She said hurriedly. “Thank you.” 

She scurried off as quick as possible, snagging a ginger ale from the fridge before climbing the steps in the hopes of settling the nausea the conversation brought on. Her muscles finally relaxed once the door was closed behind her, Ari perking up from where he was sleeping on her bed, head tilted to the side. She got up onto her bed with a heavy sigh, lying back against her pillows and letting her eyes fall closed, Ari scampering up to curl up on her chest. 

“You’re a good boy,” She whispered, petting his head and rubbing behind his ears, smiling when his tail started to wag. He seemed to know that when he lied on her like that it helped calm her down, and she always found herself almost at tears whenever he did it. 

After sipping on the ginger ale for awhile and allowing herself to calm back down and let the overwhelmed feeling dissipate, she took her phone out to text Nayeon and let her know she was coming to the game, grinning a little as she typed out, ‘I’ll see you on the field Friday!!!’

Nayeon answered less than a minute later: Yay!! I’ll cheer extra hard for you. 

Dahyun felt giddy, staring at the message and reading it over and over again, heart jumping in her chest every time. 

~

Dahyun had imagined Chaeyoung’s room a lot, but nothing could compare to what it actually looked like. She had one wall that was entirely a chalkboard, doodles all over it, the other walls a sort of plum color. LED lights were strung along the walls, Chaeyoung showing off the remote she had to change their colors however she wanted to. 

“What’s your favorite color?” She asked with a grin as they sat on her bed after school. 

“Uh…” Dahyun had always found herself embarrassing herself by talking about her interests, it made her hesitate then to even say something this simple. She had come to find people were irritated by her sometimes overly passionate interest in things, and it made her long to be a blank slate, someone people knew nothing about. “White?” She finally replied, the word coming out like a question. 

“White?” Chaeyoung repeated with a laugh. “All the colors in the rainbow and you choose white?” 

Though she knew the teasing was lighthearted it made her stomach lurch, forever on guard from being made fun of her whole life. “It’s just nice, I don’t know…” 

“I’m just teasing, it’s fine,” Chaeyoung assured her, changing the color of the LED lights to a fluorescent white color. “There, so you feel welcome!”

Dahyun smiled, eyes roaming a bit more around the room. A lot of art supplies were everywhere, piled on Chaeyoung’s desk, shoved in random places like her bookshelf or under the nightstand. Her paintings and sketches were strewn around the room as well, some laid out on the floor in what looked like a specific order. 

“It’s for a portfolio,” Chaeyoung said suddenly, Dahyun jumping as she realized she’d been caught staring. “I’m working on my portfolio already for when I apply for art school.” 

“My dad would love it if I thought about college like that already,” Dahyun laughed a little, heart thrumming quicker and quicker in her chest. 

“You don’t know what you want to do?” Chaeyoung asked, the question actually sounding curious and not accusatory as it usually is. 

“I mean I have ideas, but...I don’t know,” Dahyun sighed. “I wish I could work on comics forever, but I can’t draw. I have these little stories in my head that I think about whenever I’m bored but I can never get them down right.” 

“Well we could make a comic together,” Chaeyoung beamed, and Dahyun couldn’t help smiling too. Her positive attitude was infectious. “You do the story and I’ll draw it. We can be a team.” 

“Really? You don’t think that’s weird?” Dahyun whispered, insecurity certainly laced in her voice and all over her face.

“Weird is good,” Chaeyoung said, and it made Dahyun laugh, a happy sound and not a nervous one for once. “I like weird.” 

Dahyun felt oddly comfortable with Chaeyoung, despite never having been good with new people, and though she knew she was a bit stiff and tense at first Chaeyoung being patient with her made all the difference in the world. Dahyun had never known patience, her family always growing irritated the second she didn’t understand, or when she did anything differently than they did. But now she had two people, Chaeyoung and Nayeon, who extended understanding and patience, and she felt two soft spots growing in her heart for both of them. 

They rode to the football game with Chaeyoung’s mom driving, who looked almost like a carbon copy of Chaeyoung except older, grinning widely at Dahyun and saying how nice it was to meet her, she’d heard so much about her. 

“Chaeyoung tells me that you’re a sophomore, how’s that going?” She asked, and Dahyun felt a nervous smile form on her lips. 

“Good,” She answered plainly. “Ready for break though.” 

“I’m sure,” Chaeyoung’s mom laughed, pulling into the stadium parking lot to drop them off at the gates. She handed Chaeyoung a decent amount of money, telling her in a hushed tone to pay for both her and Dahyun’s tickets with it. 

“I have money,” Dahyun protested weakly, hand slipping to the cash in her pocket. She’d had to convince her brother to ask for it and give it to her to get it, but she’d done it, feeling too bad thinking Chaeyoung would pay for her. 

“It’s not a big deal!” Chaeyoung waved her off, paying for the tickets before Dahyun could protest further. 

Dahyun had not considered how loud and crowded the stadium would be, and the second they stepped inside it felt like a wall of noise hit her, almost taking her breath away in a sense and making her wince, shuddering against Chaeyoung as they tried to navigate their way to the bleachers to find seats. She wanted to squeeze her eyes shut, desperate for anything that would stop the overstimulation of all the shouting and the shoving and the loud music blasting over the speakers as the football teams warmed up on the field. 

“You okay?” Chaeyoung asked softly, gripping Dahyun by the wrist to tug her up the stairs into the bleachers, guiding her to sit down a few rows up. 

“Loud,” Dahyun croaked back, shoulders hunched and showing her discomfort. 

“It’s stupid they play music so loud like who wants to listen to old rock music blasting our eardrums out?” Chaeyoung joked, and Dahyun managed a weak laugh. Now they’d made it into the bleachers it was easier to swallow back the uncomfortable feeling, trying to ignore the noise as focus on their conversation.

Dahyun couldn’t help glancing to the sidelines of the field, seeing the cheerleaders all standing around and chatting, clearly waiting for the game to start. Nayeon was immediately recognizable even with her back turned, hair in a high sleek ponytail, a glittering bow placed meticulously on the top of it, hands gesturing as she spoke with Mina and Sana seemingly listening intently. 

“Who even picks to be a cheerleader?” Chaeyoung’s voice made her mind come back to where she was, eyes darting to Chaeyoung. “Like how basic can you be?” 

“I don’t know, it looks kind of fun,” Dahyun sighed a little. “They have so many friends, everyone likes them.” 

“Uh, correction, everyone pretends to like them,” Chaeyoung laughed. “They all talk shit about each other behind their backs. Like those three, I bet not a single one of them actually likes each other.” 

Her hand gestured to Nayeon, Sana, and Mina, and Dahyun felt her throat tighten, keeping her from saying anything else. Her mind went to the stories Nayeon had told her, about how she’d drive to Sana’s house in the middle of the night when she was up crying trying to study for a test or finish a project so she could help, or even just comfort her. How Mina always holds Sana and Nayeon’s drinks for them at parties to make sure nothing happens when they go to talk to people and mingle. How apparently Sana will get up early just to go and buy the both of them coffee before school to surprise them. 

“I don’t know, they seem close,” Dahyun mumbled. “They’ve known each other for a long time at least.”

Her eyes stayed on them even as Chaeyoung started talking about something else, chattering on about not knowing anything about football Dahyun thought. She became entirely distracted when Nayeon actually turned around and grinned at her, looking ethereal in her performance makeup with glitter dusted on her cheeks that shone brightly in the stadium lights. Dahyun felt her heart aching to see Nayeon and hug her again, missing her even as they looked at one another, heart fluttering in her chest every time Nayeon snuck a glance and a smile her way. 

Dahyun came to find she didn’t think she liked football games once it started, the cheering and screaming when there was a touchdown, the playing of the band, it was all too much. She almost wanted to clap her hands over her ears, but she knew that would probably be seen as rude, so she just kept her eyes on Nayeon cheering, somehow managing to find a smile even when it was too loud and awful because Nayeon really was cheering so enthusiastically, beaming right at Dahyun it seemed, like Dahyun made her smile brighter. 

“Look look look!” Chaeyoung elbowed Dahyun suddenly, catching her attention, pointing to a tall girl Dahyun didn’t recognize at the edge of the fence by the field. 

“What?” Dahyun asked, brow furrowed. 

“Isn’t she so pretty?” Chaeyoung sighed, and Dahyun shot her a questioning look. “She’s in my physical science class and I just have the biggest crush on her.” 

“You like girls?” Dahyun blurted out, knowing how that came across the second it left her mouth. “I mean, i-it’s fine, like, I’m n-not-” 

“It’s okay,” Chaeyoung laughed, and Dahyun relaxed the tiniest bit. “Yeah, I like girls. Her specifically right now.” 

Dahyun smiled a little. She’d never actually met a lesbian before, not that she knew of, but she felt weirdly comfortable with Chaeyoung knowing that about her. She knew it meant she was probably entirely non judgemental, and Dahyun felt like she could tell her anything and she’d accept it. 

“What’s her name?” Dahyun asked, eager to hear more about this crush. 

“Tzuyu,” Chaeyoung giggled, sounding giddy. “She’s so nice, and pretty and tall. I’m in love.”   
Dahyun giggled a little too, liking this feeling of something so normal as talking about a friend’s crush and enjoying a football game. She never thought she would have this opportunity. “Do you wanna go get concessions or something? I wanna say hi to her.” 

“Ooh, okay,” Dahyun grinned, so they stood and trailed each other down and out of the bleachers, slowing a bit as they approached where Tzuyu was standing by the edge of the fence. 

“Hey Tzuyu,” Chaeyoung called, a nervous twinge to her voice Dahyun had never heard before. 

Tzuyu glanced over to them, a soft smile on her lips, pushing her long hair over her shoulder. “Hi Chae,” She said cheerily. “I didn’t know you came!” 

“Dahyun and I came together,” Chaeyoung answered with an almost dreamy grin on her face. 

“Hi Dahyun,” Tzuyu said then, making her give a little surprised look. “Nice to meet you.” 

“Nice to meet you too,” Dahyun murmured, feeling herself slightly rocking on the balls of her feet and knowing she shouldn’t because it’ll look silly but she couldn’t help it, the only thing helping her converse without clamming up. 

“You should sit with us at lunch one day,” Chaeyoung said. “We have fun.” 

Tzuyu laughed a little, nodding. “Alright, I’ll take you up on that.” 

Chaeyoung was practically glowing as she and Dahyun walked away, waving to Tzuyu as they went. Dahyun couldn’t help laughing and teasing her for how obvious her crush is, Chaeyoung playfully bumping her with her elbow and making her jump a little, both of them dissolving into more fits of giggles. They found themselves a bit lost trying to get to the line of the concessions stand, neither of them having ever been to the football stadium before and a bit distracted from their conversation, so they ended up accidentally turning into the small locker room for the cheerleaders instead of continuing down to where the concessions were. 

They pulled up short, Dahyun’s eyes flying wide at the sight that greeted them, Mina and Sana clearly kissing hurriedly like they didn’t have much time, Mina’s hand cupping Sana’s face and Sana’s fingers tangled in Mina’s hair. It truly shocked her, making her stay frozen in place as she watched them kiss. 

Before Dahyun could get her bearings enough to actually react, Chaeyoung was yanking her away before the two girls caught them there in the doorway, a hushed, “Oh my god?” leaving Chaeyoung’s mouth the second they were far enough away they thought they wouldn’t be heard. 

“They…” Dahyun wasn’t even sure what to say. She never would have ever pictured Mina and Sana to do something like that with one another, and now a million questions were racing through her mind. Does Nayeon know? What if they didn’t tell her? Should Dahyun bring it up? Probably not, she figured instantly. She would hate to bring it up thinking Nayeon knew and she didn’t and that would put Mina and Sana in such an awkward position. 

“How the hell did we manage to catch that?” Chaeyoung laughed a little, Dahyun only shrugging, lost for words. 

~

Dahyun jumped as a knock came on her window, having to clap a hand over her mouth so she didn’t shriek seeing the figure outside, Ari barking from his spot on her bed. “Shh,” She told him, not wanting to draw attention to her room now, cautiously walking over to creak her window open the tiniest bit. 

“It’s just me,” Nayeon’s familiar voice laughed. 

Dahyun sighed a little, easing the window open more to let Nayeon in, smiling seeing her in just sweatpants and a hoodie, makeup still done from the football game. It was late, late enough her parents and brother were asleep, and had already been asleep when Chaeyoung’s mom dropped her off at nine after they’d left the game. It was clear they’d made a point not to wait up for her.

“Did you have fun at the game?” Nayeon asked, sitting on Dahyun’s bed as Dahyun shut and locked the window again. 

“Yeah it was…” Dahyun swallowed hard, thinking about how she and Chaeyoung caught Sana and Mina like that, again wondering if Nayeon even knew. “It was fun.” 

“Good,” Nayeon smiled. “I know I should’ve called first but I just missed you and wanted to see you.” 

“I missed you too,” Dahyun moved to sit down next to Nayeon, them both simultaneously leaning against one another. “I thought you’d be at a party right now.”

“Sana and Mina weren’t going,” Nayeon sighed, and Dahyun bit her cheek to keep the look of having something to hide crossing her face. “And besides, I told you you’re way more fun than parties.” 

Dahyun can’t help smiling, leaning closer into Nayeon. “I’m glad you came.” 

“I always will,” Nayeon whispered, and Dahyun felt lucky knowing that was true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @bbygirldahyun on tumblr and @bbygiridahyun on twitter


End file.
